32 Apologies in 16 Days

Bhagwan Surya Narayan was brightly shimmering in orange on the west bank of the River maa Kamala, who was transporting all the residues of the sadhana (flowers and other substances), and I was watching them flow into the distance, my heart felt heavy as I watched them flow and slowly fade. 

Surya Sadhana

When I read an article on Sri Suktam on October 15, 2022, I decided to do this sadhana. And I was prepared for it.

But on October 17, 2022, I saw a post by Sri Devi ji on Surya sadhana (which is no longer available) that is performed in Kartika masa, and then I referred to Swamiji’s extensive post on this sadhana, which also delighted me. So I decided to do both sadhanas (Because of either overconfidence caused by full ignorance or ignorance caused by overconfidence). So, at 9:30 PM on October 17th, I posted a question to know the starting date of the sadhana in the QA section.

In response to the inquiry, Medha ji and Komal Ji replied that it will begin the following day, October 18, 2022. But I didn’t read through the answers until the next morning, about 9:00 a.m. on October 18th. When I saw the answers, my heart raced, so I grabbed a notebook and jotted down the mantra that would be used in the sadhana, quickly prepared the altar, and since I had already read the VIDHI/procedure for doing the sadhana, I began the sadhana wearing the red robes that I had purchased for Sri Suktam Sadhana. So the first day of my Surya Sadhana started at 9:40 a.m. and ended smoothly.

Next day, I begin my sadhana at 6:30 AM in the hopes that I would finish my morning sadhana of Sri Suktam Sadhana before 6:30 AM and then continue with Surya Sadhana.

Sri Suktam Sadhana

My tongue and mind were out of sync on the first day. I was chanting something, thinking something, and reading something. At first, I thought I misspelled it a couple of times until Swamiji chanted the same mantras in the yagna. I realized i had chanted all the mantras incorrectly. I sincerely apologised to Maa Laxmi. Then I performed my Surya sadhana.

On day 2, I penned the mantras for the second-day evening sadhana in Kannada, my mother tongue, using Google’s English-to-Kannada translator. As is my custom, I didn’t double-check the mantras and chanted them incorrectly yet enthusiastically(I was completely unaware of them). I noticed my mistake once again when I attended the yagna. 

Then as usual I performed my Surya sadhana happily.

On the 3rd day, I followed the mantra recited by Swamiji and typed it in Kannada manually and this time I chanted properly without any mistakes. And I thanked god for this. Then I performed my Surya sadhana.

O Arjuna, how can you forget Chitrangada

After Sri Suktam Sadhana i went to work as usual. After a while, i realized that I hadn’t done my Surya Sadhana. I felt sorry for it, but I reasoned that it was what Maa Devi could have wanted, so I chose not to feel bad about it and to keep doing what I was doing.

My situation was similar to Arjuna’s, who forgot his wife Chitrangada and was punished by Babruvaha. Here, I played both Arjuna and Babruvahana. As a result, Arjuna and Babruvahana were both compromised in this situation.

Overall journey in total was awesome. I have completed my 16 days of sadhana happily without any hindrance from outside.

Experience of Yagna:

I remember watching actors in some TV serials doing something serious over a firepit when I was a kid. That was completely foreign to me. But I honestly believed that by reciting some strange mantras, several actual animals would emerge from this fire pit.

And I once saw a school administrator performing yagna and some pujari chanting mantras in our school. And I was surprised to witness this, thinking our school administrator is performing some kind of “administrative magic.”

And a few years ago, I witnessed yagna performed by several pujaris in Bangalore AOL ashram by singing various holy mantras. During that time, I was filled with devotion. It was a fantastic experience. But I never imagined I’d be able to accomplish it on my own one day. Thank you to our beloved Swami for making it possible in my life.

On the 16th day, I performed my first Yagna. While performing yagna, i often let Agni-deva listen to what Swamiji was chanting as i was occupied with maintaining the flames. And I said, “Oh, Agni deva,” it takes a lot of focus to keep the flames going, so you please be attentive to what Swamiji is chanting, as sometimes i can’t do multi-tasking.” 

I was completely taken aback in the middle of the yagna when Swami instructed us to offer white rice while reciting the names of the devi maa since I had kept it somewhere and couldn’t find it. I kept my cool, but still: 

So i offered Hawan samagri i which i mixed lotus seeds to Maa Devi. 

And once again, I sought forgiveness for my mistake.

For all that it is worth, though, I am now committed to being more observant at future Sadhanas’.