34 – Too Good To Be True?… Well, Yeah.

Please note: This is Ep.34

Please go here for Ep.33

Or here to begin at Episode 1

(As everything I write is true, names have been changed to protect identities.) 

34

Too Good To Be True?… Well, Yeah.

2001 

May 14th: I’m nervous. I check my face in my compact mirror one last time before I go in. I’m wearing my usual misty-grey coloured contact lenses, a flash of mascara, and just a little makeup to enhance my already pregnancy-glow-suffused features.

It’s all going much smoother this time. I don’t feel sick or bloated. I haven’t put on any extra weight. With Jai, I ballooned so fast, it felt as if my body had exploded. This time though, from behind, to look at me, you wouldn’t even think I was pregnant. Though I had a mini-stroke, I recovered well, and I look and feel great.

And my agency seems to think so too; they’ve sent me to this casting for the front cover of Pregnancy magazine. I did a few modelling jobs for South Asian fashion houses and publications when I wasn’t visibly pregnant, including a front cover of an Indian bridal magazine. But this is a mainstream magazine for the Brit/American market. It’s unlikely I’ll get the job with my wheat and olive tones, but it was a lovely warm drive into the city, so I enjoy the day anyway. I take a pleasant walk around central London before heading home.

May 24th: We’re at Jai’s interview for school. They take nursery class admissions from three years old. It’s one of the best schools in the country, with a price tag to match its accolade. It’s a lilac twinset and pearls kind of day for ‘Mummy me’ today.

I pray he gets in. We’ve worked so hard together. Ever since Jai was a small baby, just old enough to focus, we’ve read together, sung songs and played games for learning and development – flashcards, activities, the lot. And Jai has learned much at his Montessori.

The prospective boys visit in groups of eight. They’re monitored by staff as they join in with activities and mix with some of the current nursery class.

As soon as the teacher gives the go-ahead for the kids to explore the class, most run around here and there, grabbing toys, climbing over things and zipping around the classroom at full speed, in merry chatter, making aeroplane noises and pelting out delighted shrieks.

Jai, though, doesn’t move.

He sits and observes them all for a little while. He then points to the books and gives me a look that asks if it’s alright to go and look at them. When I nod and encourage him, Jai selects a book, comes back and sits with me so we can read it together. I am amazed at him. He certainly isn’t like any child I’ve met before.

The teachers seem impressed too. One comes by with some flashcards, has a little chat with the both of us and asks Jai to point at drawings on the flashcards that most resemble the words she calls out, words like dangerous. I think to myself, what two-and-a-half-year-old knows the meaning of such words? Clearly, Jai does; he points away, charming the teacher with his cutest smile. It looks like he already knows the answers and loves every moment of the exercise.

June 2nd: After I get back from my Shiatsu class, I discover a surprise waiting for me. My suitcase is already packed, and it, along with Maanav, is already in the car.

We drive through the Hertfordshire countryside until, down a long and grand driveway, a rambling, country estate house comes into view. I’ve only seen homes like this in period dramas on TV. It takes my breath away.

This once Rothschild-owned home on 170 acres of stunningly manicured lawns is a decadent, luxury Spa resort where Maanav has booked us in for a couple of days. 

I am massaged and pampered from head to toe. Thank you, hubby!

June 6th:  Two exciting pieces of news today. It’s a momentous day! One, Jai got into the school! All the hard work has paid off. I’ve never been prouder of my boy.

And two, I got the modelling job! I can’t believe it. I’ve never seen an ethnic face like mine on the front cover of a mainstream magazine. As I’m heavily pregnant, they take good care of me at the photo shoot. Everything from natural makeup to a healthy lunch, snacks and coconut water are thoughtfully provided. I can’t stop smiling. 

June 8th: I don’t know how it happened. We were arguing about something downstairs in the living room at the doors to Jai’s playroom. The next minute he’s shoved me in the shoulder and called me a bitch. It’s the same way he’d said it after our Valentine’s dinner in the city with his friends.

I’m in shock.

The baby is due in less than a month. How can he do this to me while I’m so heavily pregnant? I’m shaking and crying. I grip the steering wheel tighter. I don’t even know where I’m going.

Please go here to continue to Ep. 35