A Heartbreaking Post by Guruji and a Confession

Jai Sri Hari, everyone. Guruji’s last post on the Hardest Thing About My Life was heartbreaking. He had previously written a post or released a video on taking things for granted when you have some closeness to divinity on the spiritual path. Together these two posts make me realize how far I am from living the life I want to live and how much my guru is doing to get me there.

My guru has already dived in the ocean of supreme bliss and only surfaces to help us understand the sheer uninhibited joy of that experience. He has never made a secret that the journey demands extreme hard work, dedication, discipline. It also needs you to feel the sublime joy that you have chosen to walk this path.

Swamiji writes, talks, makes audible series, meets people, and does a zillion other things. However, I fail to realize the enormity of who he is. Let’s be clear. He merged into the divine. He is the divine. We stand in the presence of someone who experienced the most profound bliss available in the cosmos. He understands the nature of the universe, gives us a roadmap of his journey, and is relentlessly working to help us go alone. Lord Shiva says I packed the entire universe in a mustard seed. Swamiji’s sees the mustard seed as the universe.

Yet, I treat him like an ATM. When I speak to him in my mind, here is how it goes.

Guruji, I have a slight cold, can you help? Guruji, I can’t find my keys, can you help? Guruji, please take care of my parents. Guruji, can you please help with my health? Guruji, help me keep this job and a million other things.

I don’t expect him to do all of it because I genuinely believe “tera kiya meetha lage” but I cannot stop asking.

He is offering the universe in a mustard seed, and I am worried about my next bonus. It’s like walking into a garden with blooming roses and hunting for perfume in your bag.

Guruji’s post reminds me of my failure as a shishya. While he is running at 1000% speed to ensure he is available, I am strolling along leisurely, having taken his presence for granted.

Sorry, Guruji!! I cannot even promise to better because my track record on this path sucks. However, I will try with every pore in my being to be a worthwhile recipient of what you offer all of us. Then, I will fall down, and I will try again. It’s not enough to have you in my altar. Its not enough to have you in my heart. For this to work, you need to be in every breath. You need to there every moment.

Jai Sri Hari!!