A Room for Everyone

A few days back, as I was returning from the office, some emotions engulfed me. I wanted to cry and wept a tear. I was deeply feeling the intensity of suffering which permeates this world. There is so much struggle and pain, and if it all can be handled by a person it would feel nothing short of a boundless ocean with more depth than its deepest point.

I am not denying there is enough joy and comfort as well,  but through pain, we feel life more intensely indeed, each day is intense, each moment a battle. Yeah, I am talking about that kind of suffering. Can you feel the immensity and magnitude of how so many people are going through various forms of suffering, struggling through their lives? Of what measure is my suffering in front of all of them? A cipher. I am grateful to Life for that.

Daily while returning to my hostel, I see some hijras at a particular crossroad in Gurgaon. They keep clapping their hands asking for alms but as I see it, no one is willing to give them anything. I am not a very strong supporter of giving money to beggars, but seeing the state of the downtrodden I feel a need to make them a little less miserable. 

Just like throughout the world slowly women are getting empowered, similarly, people are now getting aware of the conditions of the members of the LGBTQIA+ community all thanks to courageous people who come out to share their stories of revival; people are getting aware of them through social media, pride parades, etc. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual. These people have been shunned by society and I think they have faced an even worse state of deprivation and neglect than women.

People laugh at them, exploit them, avoid them, abuse them and society has been conditioned such that it considered them unworthy of attention, recognition, and love. I have not been immune to that as a child and young adult.  Whenever I met some transgender who was looking for alms, I was quick to ignore them and walk the path where I was more insulated from the chances to encounter them.  Back in the days, we used to consider it a “Gali” (an abusive slang) to call someone a “hijra”, or something like that. Most still do use these terminologies to hurl abuse.

Meeting gay people was always dreaded by me and many others I have come to know because it is usually thought that they would try to persuade us to go into a physical relationship with them, which of course, is a possibility. I later understood that one can have healthy boundaries and live harmoniously with them.

I had slowly started accepting LGBTQIA+ people by awareness through various campaigns which are run for their cause, the stories I encounter on social media, etc. I now accept them fully and compassionately. But, there is a lot of reservation regarding them in society and also the awareness so much so that while I writing this I realized how much I still don’t know, so, I’ll be briefly elucidating about the common orientations and certain characteristics of the people who belong to LGBTQIA+ community.

1. Lesbians-  they are those females who are naturally sexually attracted to members of the same gender.
2. Gay- they are those males who are naturally sexually attracted to members of the same gender.
3. Bisexual- they can be either males or females who are sexually attracted to members of the opposite gender and of the same gender as well.
4. Transgender- they are people who do not identify themselves with the gender that was assigned to them at birth, for example, a person can be born as a girl and dress and act like a boy and vice-versa. They feel as though they’ve been born into the “wrong body.”                                                   
5. Queer- they are those who are not attracted to the members of the opposite gender and whose gender identity does not match the sex they are born in. For example- a girl who is not attracted to boys and neither considers herself a girl. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people may all identify with the word queer.
6. Intersex- they are those who have both male and female sexual traits, some body parts being developed as a man and some as a woman. According to my understanding, some people, although rare few, are both intersex and transgender, for say, a person born as a boy at birth starts developing female anatomical characteristics while growing up and he also identifies more strongly as a woman, so he is both intersex and a trans-woman.
7. Asexual- they are those who experience little to no sexual attraction. 

There is more to this list of vocabulary and that’s why there is a “+” at the end of the LGBTQIA+ acronym, which you can read here.

Today, I was on an auto ride with a colleague when some transgender beggar was seen again at the crossroads. She said, “I am scared of these people.” I promptly replied, “what’s there to be scared about? They have faced so much neglect throughout history and across the globe and they deserve a better stand in society and understanding by common people.”

In society, there should be room for everyone to breathe their full and a chance for self-expression. So this post, with my limited experience of meeting them and understanding their condition, is a humble attempt to make more people aware of their cause in order that they are treated with more empathy.

If you’re ever confused about what pronouns to use for an LGBTQIA+ person( he/him, she/her, or they/them) then ask them respectfully and they won’t mind. It is far better than using pronouns that they do not like to be associated with. Also, if I was factually wrong somewhere or if you have something to add, I would love to read your comments on the same.