Are Goals Good to Have? in My Story

It’s been a while since my last book review, not due to a lack of reading or goals but a lack of inspiration. In a sense, this isn’t a book review either, instead it’s a close reading of a sentence in Adult Assembly Required by Abbi Waxman, that caught my attention.

It’s the third Abbi book I’ve read – I loved Bookish Life of Nina Hill, but subsequent instalments have left me disappointed.

It’s hard to love yourself while simultaneously striving to become the best you you can be, which implies your current version could use some work.

This line from Adult Assembly Required got me thinking about the grey zone between gratitude and growing. How does one grow while holding onto gratitude of what one has in their lives currently?

Sometimes people ask me why I’m so invested in an “active” lifestyle, because it doesn’t align with the stereotypes of an engineer.

My standard response is that I grew up active, shuffling between different sports since I could walk and playing with an older brother.

However, as the years go by, I’ve realized my future mobility is not guaranteed, like most things in life.

I don’t want to be 70 and wish I’d hiked up the hill only when I am unable to do so. It’s like when you have a cold and it’s only then you wish for days you could breathe easily.

I think back to when I started working out, I was fifteen and I didn’t really need the exercise but I thought I needed the “flat abs”. I tried as I might for a few weeks and I didn’t get them so I stopped.

Why I didn’t get them is a reflection for another day. However, in my obsession to get abs I believed I wasn’t fit enough, even though I could run a 5K without trying.

As I needed a way to “kill time” during the pandemic, I began working out again. The time taken to get dressed, stretch, workout, stretch, shower, and eat made it easy to kill two hours. The endorphins from the excursion kept a smile on my face.

Fifteen-year-old me would be happy to know that I accidentally got the “flat abs” she aspired for. Since the pandemic, I got in a regular habit of working out, the goal never being to achieve a particular body, rather just having fun with it.

Ironically, I enjoyed something and earned the body fifteen-year-old me dreamed of. It got me thinking if having goals are healthy at all. Do plans allow you to appreciate the present moment?

I do believe goals provide you with direction but I sometimes feel they detract from the journey. If for some reason you end up not achieving a goal you’re left dissatisfied, often forgetting the growth you achieved in your endeavor to achieve a goal.

It makes me wonder how one enjoys the journey while working towards a goal. Isn’t the discomfort of the present that pushes us to leave our comfort zone, implying there has to be some dissatisfaction with the present to enable change?

I’ve always struggled teetering the line of being grateful for the present while working towards change and progress. As you grow older you realize life is not as black and white as it seemed as a kid. We live in shades and zones of grey.