Best friend and best enemy

One of the best habits I ever built has been writing a journal. Have to give credit to Tim Ferriss, I followed his content quite a bit a few years ago as I was learning about entrepreneurship and just striving to become better. I turned 30 few months ago and so I reflected upon every year from 20 years of age to 30, as well as the decade from 10 to 20 and 20 to 30.

There were many wonderful memories about my boarding school in Dehradun, my pre-boarding school days. When I moved to the US to pursue college, when I started my life in the real world in Chicago. My beginnings in spirituality and getting connected with Swami Ji. But there is one big realization that I had.

At every point in my life, I always thought I knew what is the best thing for me. Only to reflect later that wasn’t the case.

At 17 years of age, I knew what was best for me. To go to college in the US.

At 19 years of age, I knew the best thing was to get good grades, play sports, party and impress girls. College almost felt like a four-year-long party.

At 23 years of age, I knew the best thing for me was to focus on getting a high paying job, start a business and get a “serious” girlfriend. I didn’t know if the serious person was supposed to be me or the other person.

At 25, I knew the best thing was to get additional certifications, get a higher paying job, grow business, invest in stocks and plan for retirement.

At 27 years of age, I don’t clearly remember what was the best thing but whatever it was, I was very sure that it was the best thing.

At 30 years of age, I began to feel what I was thinking the best thing for me was, might actually not be the best thing.

Did I want to go through life always thinking that I know what’s the best thing and find out at 80 that it was not the case? That understanding has helped me to surrender to the divine, to Swami Ji. I have been able to let go of a lot of things.

As Swami Ji beautifully said in one the videos, “Leave some things to the divine.”