Bindaas Besharam

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.

~Mahatma Gandhi

I am besharam. Yes, I have no hesitation in admitting that I am bindaas besharam. In certain context, I am totally carefree about the concequences of my act. I am so clear on why I am doing it, that anyone else’s opinion on my act, however harsh it might be, does not affect me. I am totally ok to doing it again.

Now you must be wondering, what the hell am I talking about. Well, here goes the story:

I got the below message yesterday on my WhatsApp chat on a special group of my school friends. This was in response to a song I shared on the group the previous night. :

>>>>>Harsh: do you actually play back this recording before sending across?? i seriously appreciate the guts to share this as I won’t.
>>>>>Harsh: sorry, am really straight forward .. appreciate your running, motivation etc but definitely not singing

Now, this group is no ordinary group. It’s called “Talent House”. Created last year during the lockdown, it was to be a platform to showcase our talent. Artistic talents to start with. This included, singing, painting, fitness, photography, etc. With few really good singers chipping with some songs, many of the ‘not so good’ singers also started sharing their ‘attempts’ at singing. No prizes for guessing, I was one amongst  those. 

In all honesty, I have been (and still am), a horrible singer. But that does not prevent me from singing, and why should it ? (now you are getting the besharam bit). But I get the cherry on the cake is because I still do not mind sharing my songs on this group. Fortunate as I am, that these are school friends, most of whom, I spent 12 years in the same school, so we all go a long way. (No, none of them ever heard me singing during school days, as I did not even sing in bathroom then!). More importantly, due to my running feats and to a great extent, my reading and writing updates, I have garnered enough respect (as is also apparent in the message above) that people do not call me ‘trash’ on my face (they would prefer saying it amongs each other in private chats!!) . Most of them give encouraging messages, constant specific feedback where necessary or worst case, they keep quiet.

So, I kept on singing and sharing on the group regularly. On record, I have sung some 150 odd songs in the last 12 months. And no, to the relief of the group-mates, I do not share all what I sing. I would have shared some 30-40 of them (yes, I know, its still a lot, but spread over 12 months, its less than 1 song a week!, whch is not too bad, considering that no one is forced to listen for all of those 4 mins anyway!).

So why am I sharing this long story. It’s what transpired after this message. My first response to Harsh was as below:

           >>>>>Thanks for your honest feedback buddy 👍

And once I had settled down, I decided to further clarify my stand on the matter with the below message:

             >>>>So here is my thought process…

Accha ganey waley to sab gatein hain….
Nahin accha ganey wale kyon nahin gaatein? Kyonki unhe dar rehta hain.. ke log unke gaaney ka mazaak udayenge.
Is wajah se woh try karna bhi chod detein hain… Which means they will remain an average singer.
Show me one great singer.. including the ones in this group, Sunil, Arup, etc. Who sang amazingly even in their nappies .. yeah,. Mithun could dance before walking . But let’s leave that for another day…
U tell me Harsh, name a soccer star who could dribble as well as you from day one..

As a few members in the group know, appreciation is not always for a job well done, it’s also for trying

>>>>>

What I said in the message above resonated with lot of people and they understood my point. And the fact of the matter is that I have imporved over the period and yes, this particular song was not anywhere close to my best, but it was not that trashy, to get a harsh comment from Harsh (now when I write his name here, I can see the eerie similarity :-(). 

But what I loved the most was what came from one of the other members in the group:

>>>. I think Harsh was polite in his feedback adnd thats what you need!! Rest there are many other things that happen that can pull eome one down like groupism, personal likes dislikes, one set. not commenting for external reasons etc… bottomline do what you like … kab tak doosron ke liye jiyogey 😀.

He further added the below message:

>>> Waise @Hetal Sonpal dheet hai use koi farak nahi padega 😀 woh nazook bezuban logon ki awaaz buland kar raha hai >>>>

And that, last message, was the deal clincher. Being ‘dheet’ is bane for millions of hapless parents, who are not able to convince their stubborn child to drink the glass of milk or to do his homework. Little do they realise, that later, its the same ‘dheetedness’ of the child that will help him overcome many hurdles and conquer many mountains in life.

Yes, you are right, the ‘dheetness’ should be for something right. Not drinking milk or not doing homework is not good. But somehow, the kid wants to exercise his authority and if he choose to do so in case of the milk or singing and sharing his song, it’s purely a matter of choice.

Now coming back to my singing. I do agree that while singing is ok, but to share songs when you are not good, maybe that is bit too much. Maybe I am taking advantage of their friendship, by ‘thopoing’ the songs on them. But I am huge believer of the power of social media. I belive that by sharing, I am testing myself constantly. I am challenging myself to keep improving, so I can be worthy of more 👍  and less 👎  for the next song. If I keep it to myself and just rely on self judgement, then I might not know how much I have improved.

Un-Born Talent:

The fact of the matter is, none of us were born talented. We all acquired various skills at different stages in life. Even the skill of listening and speaking, we acquired as we were taught and made aware of the same. Otherwise we might also have been jumping across trees and scratching our armpits while looking for bananas.

The other thing that differentiates us from our hairy predecessors is our thinking brain. Our brain-power can literally move mountains, then what’s the big deal in singing a song? That’s the line of thought I take when trying to learn something. I shed the thick layer of ‘difficulty’, ‘challenging’, etc on it. Then I peel another layer of ‘shame’ after that. I in fact, go around telling people on what I am doing. I create the buzz and use that buzz to further motivate myself to work extra hard towards my goal/objective. 

Not All are Equal:

Yes, we all are not born equal. That’s just the perception. Reality is that we are all born exactly the same in terms of our physical and mental prowess. It’s all about how we make the most of what is offered to us (in terms of opportunities) and how we create opportunities where none exist. How else can you explain a double leg amputee climbing Mount Everest when many shudder at even the thought of doing it and many  others shriek  watching people attempting the feet in a movie in the safe confines of their home?

Never be ashamed! There’s some who’ll hold it against you, but they’re not worth bothering with.

~ J. K. Rowling

In the end, I would say this. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT not do something because of the fear ‘log kya sochengey’. As the famous line goes ‘Log kya sochengey, woh bhi tum sochengey to fir lok kya sochengey!!“. There will always be fallouts of  every action. There will always be consequences to face. There will always be people who will say you did right and those who will say you did wrong. And guess what, they both might be exactly right. It all depends on their intellect, their understanding of the world and how well they do/do not know you. And to overanalyse what each one says is just not worth the effort. As long as you have a clear conscious and you know what you did was right for you, it’s all that matters.

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings – words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.

~Stephen King

P.S. if interested in hearing the song, pls email me on hetal.sonpal@gmail.com

Those who are already connected with me on Whatsapp, may just ping me there.