Butterflies in Your Stomach?

Do you remember your young days when you used to have a crush on somebody? I think you remember how you used to feel when you used to see them in the school compounds, or college cafeteria, in the office, or somewhere near you. And do you remember how you used to remember them with a sense of tingling warmth when they were absent from your sight? How you longed to meet them, to talk to them, to wait for them and what not.

You used to feel amazing in their presence. Even a slight mention of them used to bring a wide smile to your face or you started blushing. You used to be hopeful and at the same time anxious, and whenever you passed by them, you wanted to show them an attractive and confident demeanour. You had butterflies in your stomach for you were often thinking about them, dreaming about them, and if you’d observe, life used to look way more meaningful when this notion took birth in your mind, that you want to live with them, for them.

You just hoped that they also start feeling the same for you, and you often wondered what if you could only be entangled with them in a life-long embrace. I am sure that most of you have felt this strange, feel-good, pleasurable sensation in your life, which shook your whole world, during your teenage or young-adult years or years beyond that. The common axiom for this physiological, psychological and emotional situation is that you’ve fallen in love!

We all wanted that kind of love, haven’t we? Like how wonderful it would be if we could get the woman or man of our dreams, in whose presence, and sometimes just by his mere touch or glance, we feel a whirlwind of intense loving emotions flying by every second in the race with our own thoughts. But, do we get this kind of love? Or are we willing to give someone this type of love? I think people fail each other often.

Consider this for an example,

You’re a girl and you’ve met the most handsome, well-built, mature man, who walks with a confident stride, and who is also a very successful person. He seems to have all the attributes which you find attractive and soon you fall for him. You wait to meet him, always seeking a chance to talk to him, and keeping your fingers crossed in hope that he also starts loving you romantically. You live in joy because you’ve hoped that he may actually start loving you too, and at the same time, you feel inadequate in front of him.

Your life experiences and observations must have told you by now that such a person is hard to find, although, obviously there are exceptions. This kind of love is often momentary, lasting some moments of our life but in those moments you are willing to do anything, to lose anything which you consider yours, don’t you?

In order to seek and search for a genuine romantic love between you and another person, you pass through many trials and situations, all of which make you learn the hard reality behind the masked game of love which people often portray.

But, have you ever considered loving yourself so deeply? Why can we not feel the same joy, same thrill in loving ourselves the way we want to love that handsome hunk or that beautiful walking-talking fairy? 

We know we are attracted to beauty, but to judge beauty from the eyes of mischief, just by glancing over the skin of a person, and fantasizing about them is a very shallow instinct. Irrespective of how we look, why can we not be beautiful in our own eyes by becoming the person we would love to be with- that person who is mature, well-mannered, fit, successful in one’s own eyes, content and most of all who knows how to love? Because we may never find the person we’re looking for, but, we can be the person who can quench our thirst for belongingness, validation and love.