Catharsis Part 2

You can read part 1 here

Just within a few weeks of me shifting to my sister’s house, one morning the landline rang.(there were no cell phones back then) My sister spoke for a few minutes and I realised something was very wrong. She turned to me and said “Sandra fell out of her window last night. She’s no more..” The room started to reel in front of my eyes. Of course, the escape artist that I was, I didn’t believe it and immediately thought that it’s some wrong information that has come through. Sandra was my best friend and we had just met the previous evening. I rushed to her house and it was filled with people. The next thing I ,see was Sandra lying there in a coffin. And as per their culture they had dressed her in a wedding gown.  I had a complete meltdown. I managed to get some composure and went for her funeral like a zombie. It was tragic. Her parents and sisters were inconsolable. I was beside myself with grief. My best friend, dead?? Really? That couldn’t be true. It would be a long, long time before I would ever get over this one!
Over the weeks that followed my mother yet again tried to convince my sister and me to not let me stay in her house. But we refused. My sister was 7years older than me and I was way more comfortable staying with her. She wanted me to live with her and I was thrilled. Little did I know what was in store.. So off I went to my sister’s house, the rebel in me feeling really satisfied.
Soon after Sandra’s death, my sister’s husband, (let’s call him Prabhas) went into action. And of course he was an alcoholic too!! Just like my dad!! Women do find men just like their father, to marry, there’s complete truth to that you know. My sister had married a full blown alcoholic. Prabhas would come home drunk every night and coerce me into a conversation with him. He was a womaniser along with being an alcoholic (something we didn’t know at that time) He would tell me sob stories about his life and talk to me about Sandra. Initially I was reluctant to talk to him but he managed to hit the right note with me. I came out of my shell and became a willing participant to what followed next. At 50, I can now clearly see how he manipulated my mind.(I already had a father figure fixation so it wasn’t so difficult for him. I was 18 in the year 1990, and he was 26!!!) But Yes, I did the unthinkable and started having an affair with my sisters husband! ( I take full blame for what I did though I do console myself and come up with many excuses for why I might have done it. But you’ve got to accept your mistake too. It’s always easy to blame the other person) My sister used to be away at work. Her work entailed late nights and sometimes trips out of the city. That made it easier for this whole affair to continue unabated..

Down down the dark rabbit hole I go….With no one to blame but me… Alice going down to hell …Even heaven can’t help her now, you see…

To be continued…