Confession of an impure heart

When and how Lalita Sahastranama Vali recitation and listening to its inner meaning on various YouTube videos started transforming me is a divine mystery.

Someone as impure as me, has never ever did any ritualistic pooja, never kept even a single fast, never worshipped deities in temples. Nor did the most beautifully decked up vigraha/deities in many different temples ever impressed this impure soul. Even the most exquisite and expensive flower decorations in temples on various special occasions could never leave any trail on this heart.

Once I even confessed in front of Swamiji, during Q & A time in the temple hall, that Swamiji “मुझे श्री हरि के विग्रह में हरि नहीं दिखते, बस मूर्ति देख पाती हूँ. कोई भाव नहीं आता.”,, I just can’t see God in Shri hari s vigrah. I don’t feel any feeling for a statue. Swamiji consoled me by saying – “धीरे धीरे वह भी होने लगेगा “.

And now, after nearly 3 years of that confession, I am simply mesmerised to notice the subtle changes into my being. Can’t explain how, but yes, am changing. THIS IS GRACE. 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Someone who just cannot do even a single ritualistic task properly, has nothing to say except this –

धीरे धीरे मैया मैं भी, सब सीख जाऊँगी
तेरी प्यारी बगिया को मैं भी सींच पाऊँगी.

ज्योति जलाऊँगी तो हाथ नहीं कांपेगे
फूल चढ़ाऊंगी तो काँटे न व्यापेंगे
भोग लगाने को हलवा बनाऊंगी
लाल लाल चूनर भी ठीक से औढ़ाऊंगी…

स्तोत्र तेरा गाऊँगी तो जिहवा न अटकेगी
ध्यान लगाऊंगी तो वृत्ति न भटकेगी
मन मंदिर को मैया ऐसा चमकाऊंगी
तेरी सोहिणी मूरत को दिल में बिठाऊंगी…

नाम तेरा लूंगी और रोम रोम गायेगा
तब ही तो माँ तेरे कानों तक जाएगा
रात दिन मिलने की अर्जी लगाऊंगी
पा के तेरी पाती मैया भागी भागी आऊंगी….

May MAA show her magnificent swaroop, shower her blessings, and keep us all secure and childlike under her ever compassionate, all pervading, divya, GRACE….

🌹Jai Shri Hari 🌹