Confidence – How to Build It and Improve Upon

Pranam Swamiji and sastang dandavat.

I have been thinking to draft an inspiring post on the topic ‘Confidence’, how to build it and sustain it. Though I will write some tips here, those are specific to my life, the same can be generalized also. Only perspective is needed to figure out the same.

Confidence is not just that caption with the mirror reflection of a Cat as a Lion. Yes, it can be the ultimate form. But just don’t jump in front of a Lion when you still are a cat. You will be mauled and will never be able to face the lion throughout your lifetime.

Like various habits, ‘being confident’ is one and can be cultivated. I am not referring to those Software Techies who define ‘confidence’ as speaking fluent English without any logic. For some of the members of this clan, right or wrong, logic or no logic does not matter. All that matters is going on telling ‘confidently’. This definition of ‘confidence’ can’t be farther from truth!

Confidence building is quite a slow process. It increases and decreases based on various parameters. But, once we start walking the path of truth, (starting point: being truthful to our own selves first) some degree of internal strength starts developing. Nobody can offer you a magic pill which you can pop in to ignite your confidence.

Confidence cannot be strengthened if one does the routine mundane jobs on and on. Challenge your self to push your limits. One small example: for visiting a place, instead of getting everything arranged by a travel agent, try taking some arrangements on your own shoulders. First time, things may not be smooth, but will, enrich your experience and you will definitely do better the next time. This will boost your confidence and you can start helping your relatives / friends in making a travel planning.

You need to come out of your protective shell. You know that you are safe inside your shell and operate comfortably. But life will not be the same every time. You will not have the luxury of the protective shell to safeguard you lifelong. When life comes hard hitting, there will be no place to hide. Things will scatter like a devastating tornado hitting with full force. So better be prepared to take on life.

Try a little bit of challenge and keep on incremental increase to build up on. Try to take more responsibilities at your workplace. If you are a homemaker, try to organize the house, keep it neat and tidy, explore the ways to improve the ambience of the house, try to segregate the unused items from the used ones. You know, “Smart baggage, smart management!”. Try to remove those long-standing dust and cobwebs and keep cleaning it regularly. Believe me, this will improve your thought process along with your lifestyle, even if you dwell in a small, rented house. You can become true inspiration for your family which will boost your self confidence to very high levels. Homemakers, don’t underestimate your immense power!

If you have a garden, try to revamp and take care of it. Try to spend time in the universe rather than in metaverse! Metaverse (the next new Avatar of Internet) is fine, but it has to be used judiciously to your advantage rather than taking you away from the universe. The more you are close to nature, the more you will be grounded as well as confident. Rather than spending lazy time flipping your TV channels for some dumb program, just go out to watch the sky, look at the birds chirping, admire the grass for its resilience to spring back even if routed several times. Try to spend some time in the sun, walk bare feet on earth, take deep breath. If you stay nearby sea, just visit the shore to take a brisk walk. Admire the vastness of sea, sit for some time which will reduce your ego and you will realize how small you are to carry an ego.

Try to be honest in your work. Give your best, don’t procrastinate. Piling up work is a very bad habit and gives a deathly blow to your subconscious confidence unknown to you! If you are a student, make a time schedule and stick to your studies according to the schedule. Be disciplined, believe in yourself. Again, this self-belief comes from doing things which challenge you physically or intellectually. Do not over leverage on others for your work. ‘Do it yourself’ approach will go a long mile in developing confidence. Along with doing your own work, you will be able to help others also earning a ‘dependable’ tag. It feels really nice. Please do not offload your frustration on people, animal or things not related to the cause of frustration. Even do not yell on the person who is the cause of frustration. Convey your displeasure in a more constructive way rather than shouting which has the probability of being received in a positive manner. This practice will increase your will power, patience and save unwanted dissipation of energy.

If you want to increase your physical stamina, do work out. But don’t overdo it right from the word Go! Start with your comfort level and add on infinitesimally to harvest the compounding effect. If you are doing some work, think of the ways to do the same more efficiently with more value addition. Suppose you have written a 200-line code to execute a task today. Try to minimize the same in the next attempt and go on improving till the code gets optimized to a level. At the same time, exercise caution to avoid aiming for perfection. ‘Perfection’ is hypothetical, but stepwise improvement is quite practical.

Please have patience. “Rome was not built in a day”. Confidence building is a very slow process. If you want to accelerate the process to some extent, have a spiritual inclination. Have a Guru figure in your mind. It is not mandatory to be initiated. Just have full devotion and have the faith that, there is a power which will protect you when you feel low. If you condition your mind by accepting small challenges, your mind will develop a neural path for fighting stressful situations. Instead of reacting, you will start responding (like your Guru whom you will start to imitate in all walks of your life).

Last, but not the least, offer gratitude for whatever you have in life. If you have lost wealth, be grateful that you had it in the first place to lose it! And believe that, if you have earned it previously, you can earn it back with your hard work. Being grateful, brings in a paradigm shift in your perception and the way in which you look at various events unfolding in your life. You will have more confidence and will feel relaxed even in the face of odds.

Hope, the post will help you to develop a positive attitude towards life and make you more confident by the end of the year once practiced. Do not be afraid of doing new things. Even if you fail initially or even in first 3 to 4 attempts, stay focused. Do not quit. One day you will look back to see all the tremendous progress you made and will be glad that you did not quit! So, start investing, what are you waiting for!!!

All glories to His Highness Swamiji. Jai Shri Hari.