Couples – So What?

A few weeks ago I was in the college garden. The class had not started then and we were just waiting. Just then, I saw two people of my class coming – a boy and a girl, i.e. a couple. I don’t believe anything is wrong in that, I don’t believe that being in relationship is not okay, or against culture or any sort of such thing. Even though, there were traces of conditioning. I have grown up in society where boyfriend-girlfriend thing is no-no, not okay, not good, irreligious, against culture, etc. Due to years of that experience and conditioning, a slight feeling of disgust, a discomfort crossed my mind at a very fast speed and I turned around, but that day I was mindful enough. I instantly realized my mistake, why this judging, why this conditioning, how will I see divinity everywhere? If I am not completely okay with this aspect of existence, then I really need to cure my mind of this conditioned thought process and narrow mindedness in practical life. Why should I have even traces of such conditioning? Where is acceptance then?

So I decided then and there, “Whenever I spot a couple, in any situation, I will look at them as manifestation of Shiva and Shakti, as if Shiva and Shakti are playing, like they are experiencing this aspect of existence.” And it’s not that hard. It requires just some mindfulness, some subtle shift of attention and the mind can be trained to look at things in a different perspective. The result of this change in perspective? Now the sight of couple doesn’t induce a dis-comfortable feeling but a remembrance of divinity.

In our country India, even now in most part of the country, or at least that’s what I have seen, couples are looked with a feeling of disgust. As if they have committed some great crime. People in our country feel it’s detrimental for culture, morality, religion, etc. But I feel they are hypocrites and ignorant. Whether you take example of Shiva-Parvati or Radha-Krishna, Krishna-Rukmani, etc. no one is against love. It’s just one part, one aspect among different aspects of life.

After that incident, I found one more observation. As I appreciated the beauty of this aspect, just as you go in a garden and appreciate different kinds of flowers, I found there are basically two types of couples –

• Shiva-Shakti type : Shiva is dominantly passive and Shakti active. That’s why she, in the form of Kali dances on his chest and he enjoys her play. Similarly, in such types of couples, the male partner is like more passive and female more active. He will silently listen to all that she has to say, all her tantrums and childishness and all. And he subtly enjoys this. For example, I have seen the girl literally punching the boy. (On a side note, those who have read my childhood love story, we were Shiva-Shakti type couple :P. Jokes aside, it took me years to rise above it completely)
• Radha-Krishna type : Krishna is more active than Radha. He is the naughty one here and as stories go, he used to tease the Gopis and Radha. Similarly, in this type of a couple, the male is more active and female more passive. In such couples, you will find the male often teasing the female and she may pretend being annoyed and irritated but subtly, she enjoys being teased. 

See around, observe with inquisitive eyes, there are lot of things to learn.

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