Did We Encourage or Force Our Child for Engineering?

With extreme Grace of Maa Sarasvati we r blessed to have a very bright ,focused and hard working Daughter ,who was an above average student till class 8 and then the success bug bit her and she became an extra ordinary achiever in academics marks wise! The other day i realized our education system is only about how strong is our memmorising power and rote learning so we may produce all years learning in a 3 hour annual board exam.But now we r part of the system and as much as we might blame ,criticize or try to mend the current Indian education scenario we cant escape it. So seeing her exceptional mathematical skills which her Father himself lacked , he enrolled her for an Engineering preparation course as FITJEE in Kalu Sarai Delhi, just 2 kms from our place. So the child at her peak of youth had to attend 5 days regular school ,with school study and home work, weekly test preparation, u.t. presentation, half yearlys and a Maths Tution for making her from 85% to 100% and then the remaining week end attend the Engineering preparation institute from 8 am to 4 pm with just 20 minutes break! The chirpy ,debating and fashion concious girl became so anxious that she used to put 18 alarms a day some time to prepare for u.t,exam ,test,assignment submission ,practical file making or doing Fittjee preparation. But they say tenacity ,hard work,focus and sincerity make a successful Individual which she was exceedingly well.She was getting brilliant grades in her school aswell her tutor timing increased to 3 tutors a week with school and fitjee giving no break! Some times her pale colour,ordering too much outside food ,not talking to us much or getting up at 3 am to prepare for exam and at moments getting palpitations, nausea or irritability sessions worried me.But when ever i talked to her Father he said u have never been an Ambitious and Highest achiever category person, your attitude can make her casual and happy go lucky! Any ways with 3 years extreme hard work and preparation aswell as each day Gurudwara visit and some homeo pathic anti anxiety pills our daughter gave her first all India Jee exam .She came back home and cried bitterly leaving half her food to tell her father, now that she has given the exam We let her choose English literature which she loves! Before class 10 she was an extra ordinary orrator ,debator and a star kid in Poetry writing and recitations.To this her father said she is exauhsted as if a Swimming player would be when he reaches 90 meter mark in a 100 meter competition! Any ways she cleared the Main exam and the next to follow and Got admission in an all Women Delhi Engineering college in best of the branch and that was computer science! Even her boards exam results got her a perffect Centum in Maths and excellent academic results but to say she was Delighted would not be the complete truth as she got bouts of quietitude,sadness ,anxiety and irritability even after getting her desired destination. Our family was quite ecstatic, from grand parents to parents no one being a science student .Every one wanted to flaunt there genes and upbringing and vision to give the child a Dream which she could achieve. The first semester being a day scholar my daughter topped but her sadness,crying and not interacting much with us continued. She slept most of the time when ever time would permit.That was exactly the time of my initiation too and for first time i ever visited ashram,met Sri hari or had my solo meeting with Swamiji.l could never ask them to make engineering work for her but rather in hearts of heart asked them to give her Sattbudhi( wisdom to be virtuous),the day i came back from Ashram was i think the last day my daughter attended Engineering College, she made it a strong and against family statement to not pursue engineering as she dint enjoy it atall. Mind u she was still working hard and studying and not letting her grades down.My in-laws consulted pandits and Jyotishis ,she was taken to shani temple and we donated her hight black thread, He father on hearing her non willingness to pursue engineering snatched books from her study rack and in rage said he ll burn them and drive with them in car, i on the other had took her to life coaches ,karmik healer and psychotherapist, nothing seeemed to work. She used to sleep, cry or eat all junk, mind u those who think initiation is a magic key taking away all problems of practical world must know it definitely gives a lots of calmness and patience to deal with tough situation as Tapassya and not samasya but at times we too feel sad and question destiny! 4 months like this dark night and disturbed family peace and Delhi university opened its admissions process! My daughter though wasted an year but this time applied in English honours ,her scores were good so she got through in a prestigious college. Many people called us foolish, infact her lawyer father made her sign on a stamp paper that she is responsible from now onn for her future and her parents would never be blamed for her leaving engineering with date and sighn.I earlier told too its not easy to live with lawyers! With in a week the sad and lifeless pale girl changed to a bright and happy girll ,many people told us its bad effects of 3 idiot movie that you give your girl a choice but i had seen a youth ful girl struggle for her breath too! Is success so expensive? As Swamiji says parenting is even tough than being married! Were we too ambitious or forcing? Do give your views and experiences too…i myself was never too focussed on a career so kept doing what came my way maybe not acheiving as i could have with my pottential! Swamiji s ‘ F” grade kid who says i m satisfied!