Divine and Devotion

As I was walking along the doorways, slowly and shyly, as I was taught to be, I realised for the first time admist all the joy and excitement that I was leaving my home. The palace where I grew up and a place that contained so many happy memories. But it baffled me, that I did not feel any attachment towards it. I looked at the queen, who was walking right next to me. And as we were getting closer to the aisle, the saint-like detachment in her eyes and in her energy became stronger. I understand how hard it must be for her, so much so that she fainted on seeing the crowd that accompanied my husband. She and my father always made sure that me and my sisters lived the best life in terms of comfort and luxuries. But now that I can sense her detachment and read her heart, I know that she has always known who I was. 

We reached the back door, which is an entrance to the huge garden behind our palace and my eyes widened on seeing the number of guests. Gods and demons, kings and queens, all of them looking right at me. I kept my eyes down and trusted my mother who was guiding my steps. “Is this really happening?” I thought while looking at my feet and walking. And I was so grateful that it was happening, I was so grateful that he had found me. Mentally I touched his feet and thanked him for making this day and suddenly he spoke in my mind “You can take a trillion births my devi, I will still find you every time, in every one of them. You and I were one before time began and we will remain one after it ends ” I looked up and saw the mandap. Lord Bhrama was sitting in front of the fire pit, ready to officiate and Lord Narayana along with his wife was standing in front of the groom with their back towards me, just as when I thought that some serious discussion was going on they burst into the sweetest laughter and he turned around. “Oh! the bride is here” they announced together but did not move.

As shy as I was, and as much as I wanted to exhibit every behaviour that my mother had taught me, none of that turned to be strong enough to control my urge to have one look at him. “Who are you looking for?” asked Narayani, with a very mischievous smile while my mother guided me to the auspicious place reserved for the bride and I was seated right next to him. He was magnanimous and I felt like a little flower growing in the shade of a large tree. Even though I had seen him even before in the cave, this was the first time that we were so close and it was the first time I was seated next to my husband.

As soon as I was seated, my arm slightly brushed against his but I didn’t dare to turn my face. “You are looking like a dream my dear” said Lord Bhrama who was sitting right in front of me. I smiled but kept my eyes down. “Was I really talking to him? or was I just hallucinating?” I thought to myself. Here he was, just sitting and enjoying inside jokes with lord Narayana. How could he possibly talk to me? I wanted to laugh at my innocence of assuming that I had been talking to him this entire time. Love makes you do crazy things, doesn’t it. Soon, the chants began and the rituals started, Lord Bhrama asked me to place my hands over his. While making the offerings to the sacred Agni dev, he came closer and whispered in a voice only I could hear “You still have so many doubts Uma” in a split second, I looked up and right into his eyes surprised and it felt like the world had vanished and we were the only two beings left. He had such beautiful eyes that I lost my existence in them. 

And in that moment, I remembered who I was. I looked at him again and this time I didn’t see the yogi I was getting married to. I saw my own source; I saw the being who had been with me for the past eternity and who will remain with me for the eons to come. I remembered everything that he had said I would. His hands were the same ones that I had held so many times before, my soul had not forgotten his touch. My eyes filled with tears of gratitude for it felt like I had been waiting for this moment since a million years now. My heart was exploding with infinite love and emotions that I did not even know existed. That is all I remember about my wedding day; everything is a blur post that. In his eyes, I saw the entire universe and countless galaxies, I saw the wheel of time and books of karma, I saw every being, living and dead. I saw him in an infant and I saw him in an old man. I looked around me and he was the only constant I could feel and see. There was no place for anyone or anything else to exist, he alone existed in everything and I surrendered my existence to him. I have heard of love that comes once in a lifetime and I am pretty sure that he is that love of mine.

He has been my home ever since and my happily ever after. 

Note: This is a work of fiction.

                                                                           For Part One 

                                                                          For Part Three 

This series won’t be complete without thanking a very special person Akshay Om Bhai, for picking up a beautiful tittle, making edits and for encouraging me countless times. We need more kind hearted people like you bhaiya! to make this world a better place.

Ft. image created using Midjourney AI

Last line of the article is taken from the lyrics of “dandelions” by Ruth B.