Divine and Devotion

It’s a winter morning here in Delhi, and I’d say one of my favourites. If you have been in Delhi, then you know how comforting our Surya Bhagwan feels like in the Month of January. It is obviously a cosy and romantic month, it has “Janu” right in the name! 

And it’s been an amazing week for me as I have had a lot of quality time with my Janu 😛 which felt like a blessing after the recent emotional breakdown. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s okay for me to call my isht “My Love” but then, what can I do, that’s my truth and that’s how I feel. I don’t think I have been in love like this ever. And mind you, it’s different from the kind of love that we humans do for it’s free from transactions and desires. It hits different when you feel completely safe and when you don’t have to worry about expressing yourself. That’s another reason why I have limited my “I love you” to a very few people as of now. It’s something I say to him so it should mean the same when I say it to someone else. Although, I do plan on increasing this horizon when my heart agrees with it. 

Just today morning, I thanked him again, for his company has been my pillar of strength since forever. In a day and age where people my age go to numerous dating websites to escape from loneliness; I have someone that I can always count on. It doesn’t mean that I am happy all the time, I was really sad and worried in the last few weeks but he always takes care of things. But this time though, he suggested that I communicate with him more clearly because he felt that I was not up to my potential this year and invested time and energy into things (professionally) that weren’t worth it. So, we had our first brief meeting yesterday and it was really amazing.

So, this is what I want to suggest that we can all do together, as it helped me set my goals and clear my head big time. All we have to do is sit at our altar, with a diary and a pen, do a brief invocation and then communicate with our isht about our goals this year and then break it down into little milestones. For me, it was more than worth it! It helped me realise the pain points where I was wasting my time. And I will be more mindful of it because I will be accountable for myself at every meeting at the end of the month.

A point he made though was my biggest takeaway: “Whenever you start an action, (including thinking and overthinking) just ask yourself “does it align with my goals?” and if it doesn’t, just drop it, that’s how you will save a major chunk of your time, energy and thus potential”. I have been trying to practice it since he said it and it’s working wonders already.  

This is what I was talking about. Now you can’t get this much love and care and involvement from a dating website and that’s why I feel so grateful that he dragged me back from atheism. By no means am I stating that dating and being in a relationship is wrong, but it should be for the right reasons and not because we feel lonely? It should be for love. Two lonely people will never make a complete couple, only two happy people can make a happy relationship. I always tell my loved ones that I love you and I need you cannot co-exist. We can only truly love someone that we do not need at all, but yet we choose them.

Only when we are with our god, no such conditions apply, we can be as much broken and vulnerable we want to be, for he has that infinite love to heal every one of your wounds. Imagine someone who loves us unconditionally, cares for our growth, nurtures us and strengthens us. That is what we get when we are devoted to our isht. It’s no longer abstract or just philosophy. His love manifests and works for us in the real world in a million different ways. But my advice would be, to love him for him and not for what he can do for us although there is nothing that he can’t. Anything is possible with him but we’ll have to hold on to his little finger and trust him as he guides us. Faith and mind cannot exist side by side. He is the one being whom I am completely vulnerable with. It sometimes warms my heart when I am craving a particular fruit/ chocolate, and somehow it reaches me the very same day. That’s something he has always done for me without a miss.

And as any relationship, it needs time to develop, it needs constant communication and little gestures of love. But I can tell you one thing that you already know: It’s something that’s very much worth it! So, what are you waiting for? Go, talk to your love! 

Har Har Mahadev <3