Embracing All Pain 

Where I lie, when in pain

No place, I see to run

From the time that slapping me, barbarically 

Hurting me knowingly,

For thy feel content

How do I muster strength to get up on my bones

When pain is dissolved in bones like marrow

My heart crumbling in pain

Pathetic my state, I am in

For thee, only rescuer is you

For you doesn’t find time

To listen to her soul

Leaving in agony 

For her cries will shed the way it is

I get cushioned in my soul

Feeling it’s pain in every breath

Being in me, bleeds profusely 

For I only have myself to talk it out

I lie in blanket wrapping myself from this world

Where I am stuck

And crying to the pathetic sight

I feel miserable seeing unending misery

Where none I find to soothe

Tsunami of tears consumes my being

Yet, I still walk and wait for you love

Your love is only what, I desire

I cry and cry for you, my darling

To the point I take the last breath of life

Not much left to bear this anymore, 

May snap any moment 

Time is near for eternal abode

For many years has passed

Waiting for you

My aching heart finds no respite

All I find is a slap on my face

Leading me to the well of darkness

My heart bleeding enormous tears

That dim me, beyond measure 

I cry! I cry! for you

Just living with the hope

Believing that

Someday I will feel the kiss of love

You alone know, how much you love me

To the extent I will ever know

With renewed hope

Filling my being with love 

To stand up and Rise in love 

Destiny landed me here

And Planted you in my life

Mar ke bhi nibhawan ge

Embracing all pain 

As a blessing from the divine.

…

All my life I loved Bhagwan, completely in love with Bhagwan, have gone through much but it’s only the love of God that kept me going. I asked nothing from Bhagwan, all I ask is his love. To call it a journey, is like I am doing great injustice to Bhagwan whom I love dearly because I am not trying to reach any state of advancement of material or spiritual, all I just want is him. I do not wish to grab you by chance or something like that, I walked, I waited, gone through hell of pain like Maa Parvati and embrace you & wish to have you in grace, in devotion, in love. For me you are not a thing to have but my life, my breath… you are. 🙏 Sometimes life is too unfair, that’s too much to bear.

Jai Sri Hari 🙏

Love

Neelam Om