Failure is Not a Full Stop

I did not know how to drive a car until last year. With the help of a friend, I started knowing the basics and drove in a parking lot; I felt the steering wheel, the accelerator and the brakes for the first time (No clutch). With my friend’s supervision and encouragement, I tried steering the car at a minimum speed and went in circles. It felt so good! Empowering. I started driving on empty streets and isolated roads. My friend would encourage me every now and then and I got more confident. I drove for longer distances, with him by my side to take control if need be. I finally managed to keep the car in the lane. 

To pass the driving test, I needed more practice and time with the car and the traffic. I enrolled with a driving instructor. I started taking classes with him earlier this year. By that time I had a basic sense of driving and wasn’t a risky student, to begin with, as he would tell me. My classes were too far apart, due to various reasons. I enrolled for 5 classes and he would spend 30-35 minutes on average for each class. My road test was approaching and I was underconfident, so I called another friend to help me practice more. He rented a car on my behalf for a few hours on two days, as he had a driver’s license and helped me practice parallel parking and 3-point turn, which I would be asked to do in the test. I was feeling confident and had a fair amount of practice for the test. I practiced on the eve of my road test near the testing site as well. On the day of the test, my driving class instructor took a final class in the same neighborhood at the test site again and I went for my test.

During the test, I had some nervousness but the test instructor was kind and cool. I made a few mistakes, one of which was an automatic failure during parallel parking. I was too slow while taking turns and was hindering traffic at the green signal while attempting to turn left. I failed. I drove back home with my driving class instructor. I asked him what to do next, and he started making me feel worse and asked for additional money for more classes and even to accompany me for the next test day (which he never did for his previous students). Without going into the details of what followed, let me just say that I swore in my head to never go back to him for driving lessons. 

Attempt 2 for the driving test, I asked a trusted friend this time. He agreed to accompany me and even let me drive his car for the test. I am super grateful to him for this big help. I wanted to practice well this time and correct my mistakes from the last attempt. I asked yet another friend to help me with the practice, he helped me a great deal to polish my parallel parking and 3-point turns. I rented a car for 4 days and drove approx 300 miles during this time period. This was a compact SUV and I had it parked in my parking lot. This was such a great feeling that I felt I had grown little wings and was becoming more self-reliant and independent. I dropped my bestie at her place of work one day and came back home on my own, I kept practicing in my neighborhood to master the left and the right turns. I was always accompanied by friends while driving long distances and they helped me analyze and learn the nuances of driving. I was now comfortable driving on freeways and highways. I became confident while driving in my city traffic and on multiple occasions, I drove alone for my daily chores. 

Two days before the test, I asked my friend who was going to accompany me for more practice with his car, to let me practice with his car. With the help of the friend who taught me to drive in the first place, I practiced more. Left turns, stopping at the Yield/Stop signs, Traffic signals, parallel parking, 3-point turns and even visited the test site area for a final practice. He said I was doing good. Finally, I practiced with my trusted friend again, the evening before the test day and an hour before the test on the following day. We changed my parallel parking technique and even though I was super skeptical, I quickly adapted to that and was doing good. It was funny though, each time he was telling me that I am getting everything right and I should follow my gut but add another 2 inches while backing in and continuing to park, haha! 

I was in the test now, the test instructor was a female and had the perfect scary poker face of a test officer. I began and she asked me to parallel park first. Something was going on nearby and I started getting anxious, I didn’t adjust my car after parking and was slightly out of line. We continued, I thought I messed up at parallel parking but I tried my best to keep calm. At one of the intersections, a car was ahead of me and as per the rules s/he stopped first and went across. She asked me to take a right. I saw a school bus parked on the left of the intersection, I stopped for a few seconds and took a right turn at the intersection away from the school bus. Immediately, she said that she wouldn’t have driven until the school bus moved. Kids were getting off the bus. I did my 3-point turn post that and it was all good. At a few turns, I remember I wasn’t as smooth as I was going during practice. We came back to the starting point where my friend (whose car I was driving during the test) was waiting. She got down and he sat next to me.

I told him, I have probably failed. I wouldn’t know my test result until she updates it on the online portal but I had this feeling that I screwed up. I was a little reckless on my way back home and he feared for his and the car’s life when I was merging into the traffic at the ramp. We came back safely and I thanked him while I was still sulking at what happened during the test. I just needed some comfort and consolation at the time, but I managed to not get upset like the first time.

I checked my result and I had indeed failed again. Sigh! She didn’t deduct many points for the parallel parking. Honestly, I was relieved at that. I got fewer negative points than the first time. I got an automatic failure due to the School Bus mistake and a few negative points for turns and traffic awareness. I was not dejected this time, I knew where did I go wrong and accepted that I do need more practice before I can get a license. I went to have ice cream with my other friend, who taught me the basics of driving initially and he told me that he was following me during the test with my bestie while I was in the test. What a unique way to show support! They are silly yet adorable.

Nevertheless, I learned my flaws and weakness. As I prepare for my next test which is in 3 weeks, I have more experience under my belt. I have more awareness of my shortcomings and a realization of where I am going wrong. I am not sad that I failed two times, on the contrary, I am glad that I got to improve some of my mistakes and I am more confident than the last time. With more practice and experience on the road, I will be able to pass the road test and become a good as well as a safe driver!