Falling Into Bottomless Abyss

This post is about a state I experienced on 14 June, 2021, i.e, last Monday.

In the childhood, I sometimes, on rare occasions, experienced a strange phenomenon while asleep. In middle of sleep, I would feel as if I was falling and would suddenly get up, a little scared, heart beat a little raised. I used to wonder if it was astral experience or what. It is like you are sleeping on a bed on top of a high tower and suddenly everything which is below you, tower and bed, disappears and you start falling.

Experience : It was last Monday. I probably got up around 2-3 am, probably checked gmail and sat to meditate. I was exhausted and not so energetic at that moment, but I didn’t wanted to sleep. A voice from inside said, “You are mentally exhausted, take some rest.” I reluctantly lied down in Shavasana on the asana at same spot where I meditate. (Shavasana sounds very easy, but try lying down your back, stopping all body movements completely, it’s not that very easy). And I soon dozed off. I often doze off in morning, nowadays, and then there are a lot of dreams, sometimes nightmares. But that day something else happened. I suddenly experienced that same feeling of falling into a bottomless abyss once again. But this time, it was somewhat different from my past experiences. I was very well aware that I was falling. I didn’t get scared or frightened as I was aware of what was happening. I was well prepared, in fact I was happy, it was fulfilling of a desire. I remained calm and didn’t try to interfere. I kept falling endlessly. It was like falling through something thick and it was completely dark all around. Moreover, there were strange sounds. Had it happened some 2-3 yrs ago, I would have freaked out. Suddenly, my fall stopped and direction reversed. Now I was moving upwards through that thick dark something. At one moment, an image of owl flashed in my eyes, I didn’t think about owl. Why would I? As soon as it flashed, instinctively, I passed on a thought, “Goddess Lakshmi, don’t ever come on owl. If you want to, come with Narayan.” The owl disappeared and I continued to move upwards. Finally, I got stuck at some right corner and couldn’t move further. Then I passed into dream state but soon became aware that I was dreaming. As soon as I realized it, my dream broke. I was wide awake and then again dozed off.

 Explanation : A technique in Vigyan Bhairav goes like –

At the point of sleep, when the sleep has not yet come and external wakefulness vanishes, at this point being is revealed.

It is said that if you become aware in the very small gap between waking and sleeping state, you experience that feeling of falling endlessly. Although not consciously, I finally got to that state, although by mistake. For few moments, I was neither awake, nor sleeping, nor dreaming! I thanked divine for such a unique experience and felt joyous. If you ever experience that fall, don’t get scared, it’s something to be enjoyed.