A New Life; My Prabhu’s Gift
I go back nearly 3 years when I subscribed to Swamiji’s blog. No one had told me about him but I don’t remember how I got to the blog.May be because I have always been inclined towards spiritual reading. When I saw his picture and I wanted to meet him. As time passed, I loved his blog.
I have been suffering from depression last 28 years of my life, some chemical imbalance it hits people who are more sensitive.
I am a adopted child and loved my mother who brought me up with a lot of love. I was always insecure from my childhood, fearing I would lose her.
My father expired with a cardiac arrest in his car and when I saw his dead body came, i knew something changed in me. That was the beginning of my baggage and trauma. Soon my mother died. I got into depression. A fear of dying, fear of terminal illness, of cancer, of heart attack and more took over. I died everyday. I was referred to a psychiatrist who is still treating me for anxiety obsessive disorder panic . I used to get ECGs done, run to doctors… I think i spent all my salary in all this. People who suffer with this will understand what I am saying. It was death I went thru electric shocks as no anti depressants would suit me ( find some depression death quotes to heal you from the stress and pain ).I ran from pandit to shrines begging for help. I am shirdi babas devotee. I just prayed to Baba to cure me.
Then I wrote to my Swamji in Sept 2014. I begged him to cure me and He replied to me saying that I will not suffer from cancer and could meet him whenever.
On 5th Oct 2014 in Delhi I came to know he was coming for a discourse. My happiness knew no bounds. I got ready and reached the venue and somehow reached where Swamji was sitting befor the discourse started. I don’t know how I landed there. Here there were about 12 people sitting in front of him. I looked at him and he said to me you wrote the mail. i just looked at him and cried like a child. I begged and pleaded to Him cure me otherwise I would ill end my life. I have never cried like this before. All 12 people walked out and I was left alone with my guru. I cried hysterically.
I put my head on His feet I was in a trance. I told Guruji send me to my departed mother. He heard all this and told me a new life starts from today.
Prabhu gave me a something to do every morning and night for my obsessive disorder my anxiety my fear of terminal illness and said in 3 months you will be fine.
That day changed my life. You know he gave me the path and told me rest is up to you to follow and I did and today 11 Nov 2014 my medicines have stopped, my fear is 80 percent less and I am living…actually smiling. I owe my life to my Prabhu.
I have surrendered my life to Swamiji. I am his child. What doctors could not do my Prabhu did for me. My happiness knows no bounds. He is with me every minute I have His picture in my mandir, my office and my car. I am living because of him. Eevery breath I take is His.
My mobile number is 98********. Please if by reading this anyone wanst to talk to me is most welcome. Come to my Prabhu you will be cured.
Surrender to him .
Leave it to him .
I want to help people I am not shy of mental disorder.
Jai Guru dev
Kavita
This post was originally published on Swamiji’s fan club website which no longer exists, to know more about that, refer to my intro part of the archives series here.
Note: I have omitted the phone no. for privacy, in case you personally need to talk, I am ready to share.
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