Farewell

1. To love and to be loved is the greatest joy of existence. When one loves Sri Hari one finds that love returned manifold. That is perhaps the reason Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Meera found themselves lost in bhakti and in the divine love of Sri Hari .   If you build connects with people around you – they reciprocate the love back manifold -many a time on unanticipated occasions.

The post  is about a different kind of love. It is the love that was showered on me as I left my organization Unilever after close to 9 years of service . I thought I was but a  small cog in the giant wheel . I had never amazed people with my technical brilliance or my vision. Yet as I left, I received from my colleagues , team mates and seniors – a large number of touching notes , outlining what value I had added to their lives. Some wrote about how touched they were by my concern for their growth , some admired my leadership skills and others praised the supposed humility and resilience I showed. I was overwhelmed with gratitude – for the affection I got and felt awestruck. All I could remember were small gestures but nothing earth shattering .

But being the eternal pessimist  also wondered secretly – isn’t this the farewell syndrome ? In someone’s funeral – you only hear platitudes about how good the person was . Similarly , in a farewell, people only praise the outgoing person – even if they couldn’t stand him/her in daily interactions . One of my previous bosses  however, was a notable exception – he went to  colleague’s farewell and when the time came for a speech – started with how glad he was that this person was leaving and how he pitied the next organization  for hiring him!! Leaving all attendees in stunned silence .

Coming back – one should obviously not fuel the fire of pride and ego with such compliments received or become an attention seeker . But it also amazed me, why we wait until someone’s farewell – from a job or from the world- to reflect on and share how special they were to us . Why don’t we share spontaneous gratitude when someone goes out of their way for us or makes us feel special . Why do we wait till the very end?  Often the person we wish to thank is gone and a searing regret is what remains behind .

Imagine if the feeling of such gratitude and its expression towards one’s team mates and colleagues is a feeling that is nurtured and practiced mindfully and daily. It would make your workplace so much more joyful and brimming with positive energy . Imagine if instead of gossiping about someone or cribbing about your boss – you were acknowledging the instance when they cared about you or paved the way for your progress . How positive and energising  would that conversation be ! Yet how many times do you hear such a conversation!

Let me confess truthfully , one of the reasons behind me taking an alternative opportunity was a perceptible apathy from my boss . A filipino , she is a strategic thinker and a presenter par excellence but had little appreciation for execution . I therefore never felt appreciated or acknowledged although I continued to get excellent feedback from my stakeholders and great performance ratings too. As I left however , she wrote a stirring note to the entire global team comparing me to a ship captain who skilfully navigated the ship over very choppy waters . She thanked me repeatedly for my contribution . As my heart choked up with gratitude , it also filled with regret- Why had I not recognized this sentiment earlier ! I wish I hadn’t left and I wish there was a way for me to go back. She on the other hand blamed herself for not being expressive enough assuming that accomplishment  was its own reward.

All organizations have a reward and recognitions policy and several occasions when the top achievers are celebrated and recognized. Undoubtedly , these are the motivation boosters events and aspirational platforms that inspire the employees to deliver their best .

Yet acknowledging little everyday  contributions and successes in my mind is as important as rewarding heroic successes. Someone who made you smile on a day when you were down in the dumps, someone who was a shoulder to cry on or a patient listener enabling you to open up and release the negative energy blocking you, some one who took your place when you took an unanticipated leave , someone who helped you solve a problem dodging you – are all people who made your journey to excellence easier and more positive . They made you feel valued , acknowledged your feelings and filled you with energy . Why don’t we acknowledge their silent contribution in our achievements and successes?

On further reflection , this reluctance to thank the silent and small contributors is even more prevalent at home where we take the support of our family for granted . And while the domestic helps are a life line for most working couples how often do we thank them and feel grateful for their presence? We think we do our bit by just giving them the salary on time .But would being a bit nicer and acknowledging their efforts ,cost you anything extra? A sincere compliment would go a long way in boosting their energy and your positivity .

So my resolution( #bebettermewithos.me) starting 5th January was to give a sincere compliment to altleast 5 people everyday for the next 30 days  . Last 10 days it has been absolutely energizing and very powerful in keeping me positive and motivated . I always feel a wave of gratitude and love whenever I read the farewell notes . All of my achievements throughout the last 9 years  here or rather throughout my life were enabled because people supported me , loved me and stood by me and for that any amount of gratitude is insufficient . Gratitude is a magical medicine for positivity. Pop a healthy dose every morning !