Feud in My Story

This is no fiction.

Year 2006

I stepped in front of the mirror. The horror that greeted me at that particular moment, where to even begin? There were marks and deep grooves all over my face. You know the brown scarring that forms after you bleed, picture a face filled with this now. My eyes were watering from the burning and the beast that I had become. I refused to look at the horrible being standing in the mirror! That cannot be me.

Teenage struggles, not again! One of my younger cousins talked me into trying this miraculous cream for the face. One that would make the acne disappear and restore my skin to its prime state. She advocated all of this in such convincing and conniving tones, that I had to try it. She smeared the cream quite generously on my face, sparing my eyes.

Moment of Truth

I hardly read the name on the label. It turned out to be hair removal cream. The tingling sensation is what set me off, but I refused to listen, let even acknowledge my inner voice. I thought it must be the cream working its magic. The temptation of no-acne skin was way too much. The intense burning followed. By then my instincts were howling. I rushed to wash my face, literally plunging my head in a bucket of water. I closed my eyes and found solace in the coolness of the water. Gradually, my skin stopped burning with that raging intensity and became bearable again.

(I will skip the reaction from my mom for another time. But let’s go on, shall we?)

I closed my eyes and finally relaxed to listen to my inner voice. But it went quiet. Could I really blame it? God, please help me! I beg you!

Power Plant

We had a Tulsi plant in our courtyard. This is the unexplainable part, to which I have yet to find an answer, even years later. I don’t know what took me over. I rushed, and plucked a handful of Tulsi leaves respectfully, while begging the plant to heal me. I coarsely ground the leaves into a paste and applied it to my skin. I settled into peaceful reflection on the severity of my actions. My cousin had talked me into it, but the decision was mine. I had to take responsibility.

The scent had a calming effect on a phobia that had just reared its head. There was a benign tingling sensation. There was hope in my heart, hope in my spirits and hope that accompanies the youth. Despite the horror reflected by the mirror, I prayed to be healed.

Forward to a few months later

Please do not have any idea about dermatologists and all that.

I would apply a little paste of Tulsi leaves every day, morning and night. Why? I don’t know. I had learned to trust my inner voice and my Tulsi plant. My skin was completely healed, not the slightest mark was to be seen from that incident.

There is a Guardian up there and in your heart. The Guardian of everyone. Close your eyes and hope. Heal yourselves. Tulsi Maa will take care of you as She did for me.

Featured Image made with Canva