Gaari Ko Uterus Mei Park Karr Ddo!

With Britishers ruling our country for more than a century and our fascination and flaunting towards use of Angrezi is a cool ,inn and a feel of superiority thing….
Lets walk down our daily lives and how we break its Leg..
Few years back i took a small town friend now in Delhi for shopping at Sarojini nagar market…Garri uterus mei park karde…when i saw her in bewilderment she said haa uterus mein…after too much mind applied i understood she meant Neutral.
The next incident is my house help s innocent request…Bhabeeji please hum mei allergy nahi uska ghol pilaa ddo….Do u want allergy? Haa bhaabeeji fir hum taaqut se poochha lagayenge…my dimaag a bulb again lit up she wanted Glucon D energy drink who s add she had seen. …….
My father in law was going for a by pass and his client said…bohot dukh hua inki artelary mei blockage hei….never knew instead of fighting cases in court he was in an army unit….the client meant artery………………………………… ..
My sister got newly engaged and went on her first date with her stylish fiancee…which cofee would u preffer he asked Capachinno ,,latte or esspresso…..hai raam isse tto asliyat ptaa chal jaayegi…EXPRESSO she said…the boy smiled lovingly and ordered esspresso…
Carona starting and our fan stopped working so no choice but to call electrician who ensured he ll wear Maks…….
Now is turn of my husband’s office staff…they file all receets carefully..samajh gaye naa Receipts!…….. …
So our mothly deep cleaning schedule and urban clap guy asks me ..Madam metro saaf kar dei….i almost took out my eye balls staring at what was he about to clean …it was our Micro wave oven….
When our kids were nursery goers a class s co mom called me …are u going to hepatitis center.. who has jaundice i wondered when she said its Alisha s b.day there. They dint invite u..
Later did i realize they meant Habitat centre………
So my son leans to read and i m listening to his reading skills and he keeps reading Budd Gate budd gate….i peep in the book its budget! Honhaar maa kaa honhaar bachaa….
A not so polished freind of my daughters classmates took her for an excursion promising Amreeekn cone…my daughter imagined all foreign ice creams just to end up with bhutte ke daane…she meant American corn

My fathers freind comes to give us a Diwali gift and enters with a smile ….what a Ho nest guard u have he says…he dint take deewali baksheesh from me! Oh uncle..he is honest no Haw nest…

My matternal aunt who according to many of our Punjabi relatives lives in Kannada…canada comes to Ho tl…i mean ho tel and when asked how was Sooot and stay, says com for table with Jeero disturbance…… and she dint KNEW how to thank the Staff! ……………
..My fathers travel agency driver felt sleepy when an American client on Delhi agra trip dosed off…mam if u sleep ,i ll sleep with u..
She complained about his character and motives to my dad….
Now is tale of my daughter s class mate who in month of Feb raree on a wens day decided to visit an A s th maaa doctor for her medication…
February ,Wednesday, azma….
My parents golden jublee anniversary and a distant cousin said to restaurant waiter..O nee yan bhee ddo ,he meant Pyaaz.
Must mention my neighbour aunty Mrs Baweja who buys JW ELL RRY Eeach fist January of the year with her daughter in laaaa who keeps telling her mumma we r going to joooo ler………..

I have still not understood weather some one has dengoo or stylish aunties call dengeee or some one drinks Mohito or mojito ? They eat peezaaa or pizzzah and they use alepino or jalepino! With smart phones having gif or graphic stretchable format why my umph freinds ask …tujhe mera jiff pasand ayaa!…………………
To clear too much storage from phone do i ask technician i need Daaaata storage or de taa storage????…………..
In Swamiji s humility vedio a girl wrote in comments…Swamiji u r promoting people to insult? SWAMIJI said its humility not Humiliation! Our mattress has worned off with time so i asked the bed and linen store do you have matress …which dynasty u want….i thought Mughal ,lodhi or chola what do i say just to realise he meant density! With a very polished language skill daughter its s great struggle each day for both of us to convey weather its Mappplle leaf or Mai ple leaf? Weather its photograapheee or photogrphy! We try and accept each other except we have healthy mewing and barking sessions! So she sings her Po ms and i sing my poyem. If all of us can share our English ki aisee taisee sessions it would be even more enjoyable! Is my os.me community enjoying my writings?????