Giving Up……

In our childhood, we were very much attached to our toys;  those colourful wooden utensils, dolls, balls, vehicles, etc.  We used to even cry for our lost or broken toys.
But now, we are no more attached to those toys, as we have grown up and developed attachments to the new things.

How did that attachment with toys go? 

Because in the childhood, we were following only our monkey mind. Wishing this and that and getting attached to them.
But now, as our intellect has developed well, we understood that; those toys are not important for our future growth anymore. So although you must be having some of those childhood toys with you, you don’t play with them as before. You are no more interested in those toys now.

Thus; detachment for the toys came out of our intellectual thinking.
Those toys were valuable for us in our childhood. But now, same toys became less valuable before our new priorities of life, like education, cureer, relationships, etc.  This is the reason why did we give up those toys at ease; physically as well as mentally.

To climb the higher steps of the staircase, we have to leave the lower steps and we do it; at ease; because our priority is for the higher steps.

One who wants to pursue a cureer in other developed country, is ready to leave his family and friends in this country. Thus; too much attached ones can be detached; if they find the new things more valuable than the things; they were attached to.
A girl leaves her parents house; once she gets married. This is possible because she finds new priorities for her life.

We find many such live examples, which helps us understand that, to get the higher things ( as per our view), we have to leave/ give up the lower things and this giving up is only possible only when our intellect logically proves the benefits of those higher things.
Those who don’t apply the intellect and follow only mind, they get stucked at one place. If you want to climb up the higher step of the ladder but don’t want to leave the lower step, we get stucked at one place. There is no growth or progress in life if you don’t want to give up something which is hindrance to your growth.

In spiritual domain, this ‘giving up’ is called the ‘renunciation’. Renunciation is the very important factor for the success in worldly as well as spiritual path. That means if you want to get worldly success ( dharma, artha, kaam),  you have to acquire the way of giving up the lower stages/ lower goals to achieve the higher goals.

Renunciation is not giving up things and beings and places externaly. It is the internal process.

Alcoholic is very much attached to the alcohol ( drinking habit) . If he stops drinking but continue to think about drinks, it is not the true giving up or renunciation. When he applies his intellect, and understands the harmful effects of the alcohol ( personal and social), he develops the disgust for alcohol. This disgust and disinterest in alcohol makes him give up the habit of drinking alcohol. He will not crave or desire for alcohol anymore. He will refuse to drink  even if someone offers him the alcohol. This is real giving up. Thus the detachment/ giving up/ dispassion / renunciation is automatic or spontaneous if it comes out of intellectual inquiry. Otherwise, total detachment is impossible and one can restart indulging in the same habit of drinking.

Same principle is applied to achieve the ultimate goal of our human life. That is the Self/ God Realisation.
When you realise the ephemeral nature of the worldly happiness; naturally you want to seek the eternal source of happiness.
Thats is why the 1st prerequisite for the self-knowldge is the ‘viveka’. It is the power of discrimination between Sat and Asat ( सत् & असत्)… Self and Not Self… Eternal and Ephemeral.
Once viveka is cultivated, we come to know that the Self is the only Sat/ Eternal truth and rest of the worldly things and joys are only ephemeral and pain ridden and with this wisdom;  detachment for those worldly things and joys comes automatically.
Thats why wise ones/ viveki stop  pursuing worldly objects/ goals.
They give up the joys of lower nature for the sake of the highest bliss of the Self.
Remember, if we are given a choice to choose between two things (e.g.  any machine for our comfort like washing machine, fridge, etc), we choose the one with long durability.

So everyone here is seeking the permanent source of happiness which is not in any worldly things.

Although we are not in a position to be a mumukshu( who has intense desire for liberation),  this attitude of renunciation is very much useful to be at peace; even in our worldly life/ pursuits.
Giving up doesn’t mean that you have to give up the things and beings in our life. It means giving up the sense of possession for them.
Have everything but possess nothing. ( leaving the notions of ‘me and mine’.)
If you have a huge property and good circle of family and friends, it is ok to enjoy it…..but give up the sense of possession for it. Understand that everything belongs to the Lord. You are given this prosperity as a reward for your own previous karmas. Just like you are given a book to read by your friend. You read it… enjoy it…but  with full understanding that one day it will be taken back from you. It doesn’t belong to you. It is with you for temporary period. Nothing is permanent in this impermanent world.
Once you know that things and people change….time and situations change…beliefs and assumptins change…what you think valuable now….will turn out to be useless after some time, we stop being too attached with the worldly affairs. Once we achieve this state of detachment,
We stop expecting things from others…
We stop reacting to any happenings….We stop indulging in blame games….
Everything becomes ok and fine for us…It doesn’t matter for us then, whether we are with people or all alone. We are at peace in every situation.
Swami chinmayanandaji says, our attitude of living must be ‘WOW’. I.e. With or Without…
What does it mean?
‘They are praising me’…its ok. ‘They are not praising me’..it is also ok.
Today there is a sumptuous meal….it is ok. Tomorrow there will be no food…it is also ok.
Today I am travelling by a car….it is ok. Something will go wrong and I will have to walk on my foot….it will be also ok.
I am always fine and ok;  with or without anything….in WOW mode!

Externally you may be seen engaged in working, walking, talking, playing….internally you are ‘Renunciate’. ( Given up the sense of possession for anything.)
Gardener sows the various seeds in the soil. He takes care of all. Some seeds sprout and some don’t….some trees florish and some don’t…Gardner does his work and let the seeds sprout…and trees grow…with full understanding that nothing is in his hands except ‘taking care’. Such must be the attitude of the parents..giving up the sense of possesssion for their children but yet be the responsible…! Externally seen to be attached but internally being detached and happy.

Thus giving up everything ( not having the sense of possession for anything) is the best way of happy living.

   Hari Om !