Happily Divorced

So this might come as a shock or a surprise to many of the readers on this platform. To all those, my sincere apologies that I chose a public platform to share it with them. As it might become evident, it’s not the platform or the people, but it’s the update I am sharing that is a big shock. Yes, almost after 20 years since I got married, and more importantly since a few years that we were separated, my wife Tanisha and myself got officially divorced last month.

Why share this news in public?
Firstly, I have lived my life in ways not many people can relate to or live it that way. So me being different and doing the unusual is anyway a norm, so this should actually not be a surprise. Why do I talk about my divorce on a public platform, when people would prefer to let it remain hushed – I simply believe that its an update about my life, and just like I have shared many facets and instances of my life (many of them far more trivial than this one), then why not this.

Why share it on this platform? If I was to ever look beyond my close family, the people I can so well relate to the readers on os. me. Not only have you given me a chance to speak, but you have also given me an opportunity to engage, an option to introspect in a group, and ever since the decree was passed on Sept 21, I have gone back and forth in my mind a million times about wanting to share this publicly, just to get myself at ease on the development. Hence, I decided that if it had to be shared in public, it had to be os. me.

Why call it happy?
The reason to call it happy and the reason to share it in public are intertwined. For a while now, there is a stigma associated with divorce, and it’s given too much of a negative connotation- so negative, in fact, that people are willing to bear years, not even decades of tough marriages, but dare not utter the “D” word. And I, of course, know it’s easy, to question the approach. I believe no instance in a person’s life is bigger than the person himself – except death, which of course, ceases their life. Unlike death, there is very much life beyond divorce and I am taking it very much in my stride, as I would do with any other event.

Was it Hard?
Of course, it was. But are there any remnants of the sadness, I would say – NO.. so please do not feel ‘sorry’ for me? Comfort me, please do, but feel sad for me, please do DON’T. I have gone through a lot in life (remember, I just completed a Full IRONMAN in Aug 2022) to be rattled by the divorce. But yes, it’s not easy to adjust to a life alone, especially after one was in a marriage for this long, especially one with lots of happy memories and of course, a deeply adorable and loving child.

How has my daughter taken it?
Well, unfair for me to respond on her behalf, but from what I know of her, Anusha has been very very strong on the outside, but among the three of us, it’s been by far the toughest for her. And no amount if assuaging and comforting can get her to forget that tough part. But I am sure, as she grows older and sees more of the world, acceptability will get better.

Any remorse or regret?
Being an outright positive person, I even see my divorce as a positive development and I also see marriage as a positive development. I continue to believe in the institution of marriage and am very very keen to remarry. I have no intent to die single. And yes, no remorse my choice the first time around. If I had to, I would marry Tanisha again at the age when I did it, because there is no denying the wonderful times we had together and every individual is unique I would not want to think that someone else would have also been able to give me the same type of experience. Maybe better, but then it could have been a lot worse as well, right?

So in summary, I would say this – marriage, divorce, graduation, falling in love, breakups, getting a job, promotion, becoming a parent, getting fired, having a serious accident; these are all incidents in life. THEY ARE NOT LIFE itself. Life and the individual are far far more superior than any of these incidents and it’s important not to downplay life (people committing suicide after a breakup or losing a job, etc) because of these incidents. Also, just like a person is not bad just because they break your friendship or a company is not bad because they fire you, similarly, your spouse does not become bad just because you divorce them. Accepting what happens to you is as important as discovering what you can do with yourself and one cannot progress in life and achieve big things if we drag ourselves down by what happens to us. Have a fundamental belief in the fact that ‘everything happens for good’ and there is no reason why we cannot discover our true potential and do even better.

Sharing some breathtaking pics from my trip to the US. If you are anywhere in the Chicago-Dallas-SanJose area, give me a shout.