HAPPINESS

In my 1st year of graduation, when I was still a fresh and unpolished brain, I attended the very first of my debate sessions. I had no idea about how to participate in debates, what to say, what is politically right, you know, the things that no new graduate entry has any idea of. All I was doing there was observing people, trying to find the best place to sit, in that classroom.

A common thing you can notice in a classroom is that the first few benchers are generally filled to their brims with so much energy as if they have had 100 bottles of glucose. Yes, to their brims, so probably that is the reason why there is no place in their skulls left to accommodate a brain! (just kidding) And I never understood one thing, why is it important to sit on the first bench to come first in the class!!.

Then comes the middle bench participants. The most confused amongst all the folks in this world. So confused that they cannot take simplest of the decisions in their lives. Probably that is the reason why they sit in between, because neither can they bear the burden of the intellect at the front, nor can they downgrade their image by sitting with the back-benchers. So they cutely come and get sandwiched!

And finally I got an answer to where I should be sitting – the last bench. And most of you must be knowing about people like us, we knew why we used to go to the class, and what was our, the then aim – Who gives the most expert comments on the teacher!!

Well, back to the debate, the discussion point of the day was “What is your ultimate aim in life?”

Psychologically, the type of answer that a student gives, tells us exactly where he sits in the class. The first benchers said in unison, “Wanna do MBA from IIM, wanna be a pilot, wanna be a guitarist…bla..bla..bla”. The funniest and awkwardly emotional were the answers coming out of the sandwich guys as if Yash Chopra, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, and Karan Johar together died in their laps. “I want to make my mother happy….I want to live for my family……I want to go to Haridwar every year….bla..bla..bla…

Like everyone else, I wanted my answer to be the best. I thought a hundred times, about different aims which could please the class and the teacher, but this time I decided to be true to myself. So I said “I want to be happy, and my ultimate aim is happiness”. There was a confusing silence in the class, as if I came out of a spaceship shouting “Dhoooop“. The first benchers were murmuring, middle guys giggling with their nails reaching out for their teeth. The teacher broke the silence, “How will you get that?” I replied, “Through satisfaction.” and continued further, “Whatever everyone in this class is doing is for happiness. Some guys want to do MBA, which will cause them satisfaction and ultimately happiness. So their ultimate aim is basically happiness and MBA is just a means to achieve that. Similarly, some guys are living and studying for their families creating satisfaction followed by happiness for them. Again, the ultimate goal being happiness here. The people cribbing and crying want to ease themselves to be happy ultimately.” I was happy with my answer that day. 

But one thing I never understood at that time, was, if everyone has the same ultimate goal, why do people choose such complex paths to attain that? I don’t know if that particular session was thought provoking for anyone else there or not, but that created a turbulence in my mind and I strived hard to get the right answers for it. Sometime after this incident I had life changing accident. After almost two decades, I now feel I was very right in saying that and thought about sharing some of the things I feel with you all.

I could be wrong here, but I feel there are broadly 2 types of happiness. The first one is relative and mostly appears from materialistic things. Owning a car can give you more happiness than owning a bike. Now a Mercedes will give you more happiness than a Maruti. And so on it goes. But its all relative and you find it fading away with time. You might notice owning a thing makes you happy for a day or 2, but it fades away with time, until you realize that you aren’t even thinking about that thing anymore. What is the use of the kind of happiness that fades away?? Why can’t we always be happy?

That brings me to the second type of happiness which is ‘Absolute Happiness’. The one that is immaterial, natural, incomparable, and most importantly permanent. I might not be the happiest person in the world, but I have tried hard to reach a state that makes me self accepting and satisfied. Once you accept yourself to be a perfect human being created by the universe for a unique purpose, you will feel the ultimate bliss.

Our ultimate goal going ahead should be self realization, as mentioned in the Bhagavad Gita, which is the path to ‘Ultimate Happiness’.

I remember the day when my brother was giving my example to my cousin, who was cribbing about small issues. He told her, “Just come anytime, and ask Shuchi ‘How are you doing?’. She would always respond with full confidence ‘I am perfectly fine.'”.

You think that happiness and confidence come from outside? No. Its all within. Its a state of mind, that I have strived hard to achieve, and will continue with, through the rest of my life until I attain the state of self realization.

Love to all!