‘How Are You?’

‘How Are You?’

Why Wellbeing Is Important.

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When you meet or talk to somebody after a length of time, the very first question that starts the conversation is—‘How are you?’. We say it, right? And most of the time, it’s a typical ‘Yes, I’m good’, or ‘Yeah. Everything’s fine’. Even if we don’t feel okay, we often say the opposite, just to avoid explaining things. I recently realized that it’s very important to have inner wellbeing, to be well. You know, we all are seeking wellbeing all the time. It’s obvious from our conversations. But, quite contrarily, all the time we are actually discussing our unhappiness…isn’t it? 

The Problem 

It’s a rather interesting problem: how to be well? How to achieve wellbeing, no matter what happens?

This question has been hovering in my mind for some days now. And with this question came a rather painful realisation: that deep down, I’m not well. There’s a sense of unease, a sense of suffering. And with this realisation came the next inevitable—Why? Why am I not well? Why is there this constant buzzing sense of suffering? And the answer that I get is that I am carrying my past as a painful burden. Yours may be different. But the reason I said it’s an interesting problem is because even though I know I’m suffering my past, I’m not being able to let go of my past. 

Have you never felt this dilemma? You want to drop something, you want to let go, but you can’t! And that’s why I said it’s interesting. One then asks—Why? Why am I not being able to let go, even though I absolutely want it to go? 

And you get stuck. The only answer you get is that—it’s not easy! But you keep trying. And you keep hitting the same wall. The pain continues…

Isn’t it our story? But let us at least come to this realisation that wellbeing is really important. If we at least understand the urgency of its importance, we’d be trying with fire. And I think, unless that intensity comes, unless we realise how tremendously significant it is to be well from within, we’ll not be able to break that wall. 

Why Is Wellbeing Important? 

Okay, why is it important to be well? The question sounds rather silly, isn’t it? It’s obvious! Wellbeing is our natural longing! If we are not well from within, we’ll not be able to experience life in its depth and richness. A sick being can’t possibly experience an exuberant life, can it? Aren’t we all somewhat sick inside? Be honest, and tell me, with sickness can you love life, can you love God, or can you love anything? And without love, where’s the beauty in life‽

Is all this becoming heady stuff for you? Well, it is heady! Because it’s such a deep inquiry. In the movie 3 Idiots, Rancho (character of Amir Khan) had a motto: ‘All is well’. But can we honestly keep our hand on our heart and say ‘All is well’? Can you say that? Is EVERYTHING really well? Don’t you suffer? Don’t you feel something lacking in you? Well, many things are certainly perfectly okay in our lives, but not EVERYTHING! Sorry if I’m being brutally honest. This is our reality. If everything was okay, why would we seek so much, why would we strive so much? We are all seeking something, no? And we all have this sense of struggle inside. We all are struggling souls, if truth be told. There’s struggle in us—that’s a fact. So, clearly, everything is not well. 

True Wellbeing

What’s true wellbeing, anyway? How to be well—comes later. Do we even understand what true wellbeing is? I think it necessary to put this question to oneself. Is your wellbeing different from mine? Our definitions are certainly different. But, what’s the truth? 

If there were some parameters of true wellbeing, which ones they’d be? These are some parameters which I think are common to all of us—

• Absence of the sense of suffering.
• Peace.
• A sense of ease.
• Centeredness, and
• Joy. 

If all these are our constant companions, I think that’s true wellbeing. What’s your take on it? If I just have to pick up one thing which would define a life of wellbeing, it would be the first one— the absence of suffering. The opposite of wellbeing is suffering, isn’t it? So, I think, if we eliminate all suffering from within, we can be truly well. 

How To Be Well?

How that will happen, I don’t know. I suppose, it’s an individual journey, a self-discovery. Nobody can lead you, at most can show you the way. We have to come to the resolution of the problem ourselves. But, what can be said is that, how not to be well. You know, it’s very difficult to answer how to be well. But, it’s very easy to identify the triggers that make us unwell, unhappy. So, maybe we can take a reverse approach. The things that make us unwell, unhappy—if we eliminate all those triggers, wouldn’t it bring wellbeing? It may sound counter-intuitive to you. But, think like a doctor for a moment. A doctor carries out a diagnosis first. Identifies the triggers. Then tries to eliminate those triggers. Similarly, if we can eliminate the triggers of our suffering and unhappiness, wellbeing will be a natural consequence of that. Sounds sane? 

If we are aware that we are not well deep inside, are absolutely clear what true wellbeing is and why wellbeing is important—the journey to wellbeing becomes clear to us. And it is with this hope that I wrote all this to make you somewhat familiar with our condition and to help you chart a way out of this tremendous challenge. I hope it has shed some light. 

I wish you true wellbeing. May you live well and be blessed. Jai Shri Hari 🙏 

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Thank you.

Image Credit: HEALTHYPLACE.COM