How Ego is the Barrier to Oneness

Man cannot see God on account of his ego. You cannot see the sun when a cloud rises in the sky. But that doesn’t mean there is no sun; the sun is there just the same.
(Gospel Of Ramakrishna)

Ever-going-opposite (ego) to our real welfare, ego is what divides us into multiple and binds us to our individual shells.

Ego is fueled by fulfilment of desires. This is because ego attaches to everything we obtain by our actions. In this way ego is attempting to expand to infinity, by having everything that’s in the creation. However, out of ignorance, it is misdirected as it’s focused on ‘having’ rather than ‘being.

ego is a curtain. it makes you blind. Ego thinks, I have it figured out. And even if I don’t, I’m going to pretend that I have it this way. Thus, you can’t see the truth.

Once you learn how to harness it, then, you will discover its explosive energy. Because ego is the only factor that makes you believe who you are, and who you are not.
(Ego)

Therefore, ego can make you be infinite by channelizing its power of belief – by believing that you’re one with everyone and everything. When You no longer limit your existence to just this body or to the labels you are given through it like father/mother, daughter/son, husband/wife, engineer/CEO and so on.

Powerful thoughts

In Why do we sleep: Swamiji writes “you find sleep relaxing because it is not just your body that sleeps, it is the ego too. When you are sleeping, you are a nobody, a master of the universe. Whether you are a king or a pauper, once you fall asleep, it is all the same. A king has no exclusive claim to royal dreams. There are no distinctions; your mind is not talking beyond the dreams you can remember. There is a certain quietude.”
However, sleep is not the same as samadhi (though you drop your ego in both) because: “In sleep, you have dormant awareness. You know you are not dead, you are only sleeping. If someone pours cold water on you, you will wake up immediately. In samadhi, you have dominating awareness. Your super-awareness is the single factor that allows you to maintain that transcendental meditative state.”
And the most important: “One who knows the art of being a nobody can become anybody he so wishes; the urge to be like somebody disappears, and everybody looks identical thereafter anyway. For, if we look beyond the external, the labels, their conditioned behavior, and so forth, is every person not like every other?”

Being humble, being gentle in conduct helps to curve one’s ego. In Swami Vivekananda- The Art of Gentleness, Shuchi highlights importance of refining physical and verbal actions. “Just the way you move, how you step on the planet, how you breathe, how you sit, how you stand, how you look at other people — this is where you have to refine your action … Not because somebody’s watching, not because you’re under scrutiny … With this, slowly, your mental action and emotional action also can be refined.”

Our mind doesn’t like to do sadhana because it dislikes let go; it hates being tamed. AN untamed mind is the finest vehicle for the ego. Read how Pari almost forced into doing the powerful Sri Suktam Sadhana against the wish of the calculative mind, experiencing the divine grace through it.

Love is opposite to ego. Where there’s true love, there can’t be ego. What if your sadhana becomes a medium to express your love? Supriya discovers that “Sadhanas always make me feel warm. It’s my way of expressing my love for my bhagwan and my heart rejoices knowing that we have some determined private time together every day, as I always say, Love is devotion. We cannot be truly devoted to someone without being in love with them and sadhana, for me, is just a way of loving my god and feeling connected to them. Mantras are a sonic representation of our Isht. And whenever I chant, I feel like, life can throw a thousand arrows at me but I won’t be dealing with them alone. Faith gives us a feeling of warmth and oneness.”

Lastly, if fulfilment of desires boosts the ego, should we just suppress them? Certainly not. There’s a better way and that’s known as brahmacharya. DR. Varsha dives into the deeper meaning of this term in her post which is often mis-understood as mere celibacy. “When we do regular sadhanas like japa, upasana, worships, meditation, etc and try to engage our mind in Brahmavichara or thoughts of God continuously, our every other thought takes a back seat. When we experience the Bliss of the divine, our interest in pleasures at BMI (body, mind and intellect) level start decreasing day by day. You find no pleasure in toy bike, when you get your real dream bike.”

Sharing breaks the ego – a real personal experience

ON the last day of this January Nav Durga Sadhana, I got to listen to this episode of Bhagavat Gita (by Swamiji). till then, I had been listening/reading mostly about Mother Divine during the nine days.

Sukha aae to vyakti shant rahe or sukh ko bant le
Baantane se ahankar kam hota hai. aur ahankar vo ek agni hai jo kabhi kam nahi hona chahati

(Upon receiving pleasure, one should remain peaceful and share it. By sharing, ego reduces. Ego is the fire which never wants to be diminished.)

This was a revelation to me. So far, I’ve heard that what you give is what you receive manifold from nature. Following this principle, I have been sharing knowledge, money, time etc. in various ways.

However, in most of the things I share, there’s still calculation involved, I give preference to my bodily existence. Food has been one of such things I’ve observed. Though I share a few bytes of most food I eat with birds/animals, I try to keep the best portion for myself. Divine has nudged me to share the best part but my mind refrains from sharing more than one byte of the best part. For example, if I’m having three alu-paratha, I’d share three bytes one for each – but only first byte would be from the better stuffed portion. While doing so, my mind gives a reasonable argument that there are only few pleasures it’s given due to my choice of lifestyle.

But This revelation that by sharing, the ego diminishes is something completely new and exciting. After all, it’s my conscious/subconscious clinging to the ego which is preventing me to be one with divine, to see its manifestation, to realize my truth. SO, naturally, I just made a sort of resolve with myself that I’ll sincerely try to follow this principle of sharing the best I have even if it’s tiny pleasures.

The revelation turned out to be a carefully planned divine grace. During the evening mansik yajna on that very same day, while I was doing closing pranam to Sri Hari, I heard my mother telling my nephew to take the bowl of halwa from the microwave, which I kept to have for the evening.

Previously if something like this would happen, a thought of losing my food would occupy a portion of my mind for the rest of my meditation and I had to employ different techniques to forget/resist it in interfering my meditation.

However, this time when similar thought arose suddenly I recalled the above wisdom (that by sharing, the ego diminishes). I distinctly experience Something melting or untying inside my heart (felt a slight movement there).

And then I just felt free because now that thought of my halwa is going to be taken away no longer was there. (Btw, I did get to have a full bowl of halwa :))

Since then, I continue to employ this wisdom while sharing the best portion of my food, when my mind tries to resist.

It’s the little things, tiny attachments, by which our ego retains its hold.

By doing sadhana, we not only discover them more promptly, but we receive the divine grace to be freed from them.

Can you recall some experience, a method, that helped you weaken the hold of the ego upon you? Please share the same in the comment below.

Remember, by sharing you reduce the fire of ego within you! #bebettermewithosdotme

Sriman Narayan

Image: From Flickr