How Much Help is Enough?

Money is a very important tool for all of us to live comfortably in this material world.

And I absolutely agree with this.

Today I want to share something personal.

In 2006, my uncle got badly injured and remains paralysed, from lower abdomen, till today.

Since I had a job and his kids were too young, I offered to help him financially every month with a very small amount.

Also annually I used to pay extra money post summer vacations to buy new books, dress and other such stuffs. Further I used to pay extra on festivals and with time, as and when I got a rise in my salary, I increased the amount I used to pay every month.

After few years, when my brother started working, he too started to pay him a big amount every month.

Our only concern was that our uncle should not worry about his kid’s study and some household expenses. He used to work in an export factory which simply abandoned him post this life changing accident.

It is almost 15 years that we sincerely pay him every month. His daughter is now a Graduate and eligible for work and his son is already in 12th standard.

I told my uncle to look for a job for his daughter and side by side let her continue her masters. Now came the shocking part. I got to know that he is very selective in which college she should study her masters. Also he has chosen only 3 cities for her to either work or study. Any opportunities coming from another town is out rightly rejected.

Recently my uncle made my aunty to stand for gram panchayat election. She would only be the face and he will manage everything from behind. I was very happy that this might bring some monetary comfort to him as well.

He said he need some money to please people to vote in his favour. I and my brother of course, as always supported him.

He lost that election and later I got to know he had spent almost 50k from his savings for this election campaign. I was surprised that how could he spend so much money without thinking of the consequences, as he is not financially secure. 

I was concerned and discussed it with my mom and brother that if he wants to spend money, he should earn too. He can’t spend the money we are giving him for his children recklessly. (do not judge me thinking that my job is just to donate and not bother about the consequences. I had done that for 14 yrs.)

My mom asked me to stop giving him any money and said my brother will continue. Then my brother said I will also continue for a short term because now that uncle has become very ambitious. He is also bribing people and getting forged documents made for almost a decade so that he can be shown as a teacher in a government school but nothing is working in his favour.

I felt cheated. I had no such information in all these years. I thought of asking that uncle directly but instead told him that he should look for a job for his daughter and let her continue her masters. He said I do not have so much money to sponsor her education and her rent (if she stays outside her native place).

Then I asked what have you planned then? He said,”I will soon get her married and you guys need to help me into this.”

Later I got to know that he is expecting us (me and my brother) to contribute a huge amount for his daughter’s marriage.

I then told my mom I am stopping giving him money from March 2022 and my mom told him that Shalini will stop sending money from Dec 2021.

Now he is calling me often just to ask my wellbeing and very happy talks. I now understand that my kindness was taken for granted and he wants me to still continue with the monetary help.

The amount of money I and my brother give him every month can help 4 poor families.

I never asked for any material thing from lord till date, a practice taught by my mom and I am trying to imbibe in my daughter too.  (My mom always taught me to ask for things which cannot be bought by money).

But as you all know I am not earning these days, also I am not very active here, so my os.me earnings have too gone down drastically, I can’t allow anyone to take my hard earned saved money for granted.

For the first time in my life I asked lord to give me money so that I can genuinely help the needy people. And my brother has now advised me to learn some skills with which I can make money and I am yet to explore possible options

I wish that I am able to earn a decent amount every month and can help the real needy people.

Why am I sharing this post is because as many wise people and saint says that when you help people monetarily do not think about where it is being spent, but my personal experience has taught me that we should know so that we can find out whether that person is using that money for some genuine need or misusing it for his own unreal ambitions or social status. That way it is better to help people who are actually in real bad shape and genuinely need help.

Thanks for reading .

(Image by Oberholster Venita from Pixabay )