How to always remain calm.

A serene mind enhances our decision-making abilities. When we make decisions against a backdrop of calmness, the heart and head work together and not against each other. Projecting an air of tranquility is easy when life unfolds according to our desires. That calm demeanor can quickly evaporate when misfortune strikes.

Being calm is challenging when we are easily sucked into the rough and tumble world of emotions. Life isn’t always a smooth, straight paved road with well-marked directions telling us how to achieve our dreams and aspirations. Often it is a silent struggle as we stumble through various challenges life brings.

There is a simple solution to remaining calm, which will help when we are called upon to make decisions during both good and bad phases of life.

The mind is like a pinball machine, an arcade game where the player controls two flippers that help keep a metallic ball in play once the ball is propelled into the playing area. The ball hits and bounces off various targets, and the round is over if the ball slips between the two flippers. After thoughts enter our conscious perception, without active engagement they quickly disappear without a trace. However, once we engage a thought, it remains in “play,” like the ball in a pinball machine. Even after a thought disappears, we invoke our power of imagination to keep recreating similar thought patterns. This process of recall through imagination applies to thoughts that bring us both sorrow and pleasure. Sometimes we cannot let go of thoughts that make us sad, just as we cannot help remembering good times. 

As we hold onto thoughts, they ricochet off other thoughts. The blending of many thought forms ultimately triggers positive or negative emotions. From experience, we know that anytime our emotions are triggered by thoughts, it heightens our involvement with those thought forms. It becomes personal. For example, news media exploits the emotional dynamic to communicate their message. The world is drowning in news from all corners. But a small percentage of sound bites and news clips get most of the traction. Why? Because they trigger an emotional response. The more visceral the reaction, the greater our engagement with that news story and subsequent related stories in the days and weeks. 

When emotions are involved, reactions are not far behind. We react to any and every thought when we have an emotional investment. Our response may be positive or negative, but emotions can make us lose objectivity. We run the risk of making impulsive decisions that we may come to regret. 

Often when we react to a thought or a situation, we are not responding to what the thought or the situation presents. The reaction is to the emotion that is triggered. When this happens, we usually find that we may have overreacted if we take a step back. This objective introspection can only occur when the emotional surge subsides and the mind is calm. Such after-the-fact analysis is neither efficient nor productive. 

Calmness is like the sky, the background on which the ever-changing weather manifests. Once storms disappear, the sky remains as it has always been. Similarly, we can stay unaffected by mental upheavals when we develop a calm disposition. We “rise above” and not “fall under” the weight of thoughts when we remain calm. 

A single question we can ask ourselves, especially when we feel negative emotions rising, can help us remain calm. This question is, “am I reacting?”

It is essential to ask ourselves this question not once but three times. Usually, the ego brushes aside this question the first time. Asking for the second time creates a pause long enough to recognize the train of emotions coming directly at us. And the third time we ask ourselves, “am I reacting?” the answer may be evident. We may then recognize our habitual reactions and impulses that follow any surge of emotional energy. It is much easier to prevent damage by taking corrective steps before we react than to correct the harm after our emotions have escaped through words and actions. 

When we make decisions, it is crucial for both the head and the heart to work in harmony. The head provides reason and logic, and the heart provides intuition. Only when we are calm can the two—head and heart—work together and help us become better decision-makers.