How to Deal with Ageing Parents

Why did Indian parents prefer a son in earlier days

You are evolving, you must help your parents to evolve.

Because for an Indian person, I want you to understand that the only reason why parents desperately want to have a son is that they believe that a son will facilitate their liberation. Why do they want to have a son? When they die, only their son will be there to set fire to them. He will do the Karmas, he will do the Kriyas. It’s important because the girl gets married and goes away somewhere.

These days it’s different, wherever she is, she will come back today, if you need her. At least if you die, she’ll come back. But in earlier days, when the commutation was very difficult, mostly on foot, it was almost impossible for a girl to come to her parent’s place.  

What were the duties of children? 

When someone is ill and if that someone has unfortunately never truly realised life is mortal, and they have not prepared for it, in any way within themselves at that time, you tell them you’re going to die now, is going to be terrible. ‘

Because all relations are need-based relationships. Societies have evolved like this, so suddenly telling them you’re going to die may not be a great idea in this country, but it was made a very significant thing.

Coming to facts as there are some more responsibilities of children towards their ageing parents, instead of giving them fire after their demise

How do you keep your ageing parents in the house?

•Enrol your older adult in an adult day program – socialisation and care for them, much-needed rest for you.

•Hire in-home caregiving help to get regular breaks.

•Find a volunteer senior companion program in your area.

•Use a respite care service to get a longer break.

How should one approach the ageing parent?

As they age, our parents might need more help. But you might not know exactly how to lend a hand or even where to start. Plus, what do you do if your parents baulk at your attempts to assist them?

1). Empathise with your parent

As they age, our parents might need more help. But you might not know exactly how to lend a hand or even where to start. Plus, what do you do if your parents baulk at your attempts to assist them?

Sometimes you might be taken aback by your parents’ frustration, moody behaviour or neediness. In fact, on some days, they might be downright unpleasant to be around. But it’s important to be empathetic and understand where they’re coming from. “Ageing is a series of losses — loss of employment, health and energy, friends, mobility, and independence.” Consider how you’d feel if you were in their situation.

2). Call them regularly 

If your parents are not staying with you and are not in touch with you, physically the number one thing ageing parents wanted from their kids was simply to hear from them. She suggested setting a reminder on your phone to check in with your parents and see how they’re doing.

3). Getting another family involved 

Communication among family members also is key when parents need financial help. Sometimes siblings will help offset expenses by giving your parents a little bit of money every month — they just need to know what the financial need is to be able to decide to help, ( It is advisable to see a financial advisor who specialises in elder care issues to

4). Seek out potential problems.

Walk around your parents’ home, and scrutinise the surroundings for any necessary repairs or changes. For instance, look out for uneven flooring, handrails and well-lit hallways and stairs. Also, check if essential items are within reach and if emergency, contact information is next to the phone. If something major requires repair, find out if your state offers low-interest loans to seniors. 

5). Advocate for them 

If your parent has an illness, make sure that both of you have a good grasp of what that means and what treatment entails. For instance, know the medications they are taking and when they are supposed to be taken. If you are accompanying them to appointments, ask questions and take notes.

Conclusion

When you die, you want your child around you.

Practically speaking, when you breathe your last, your son would be around. This is irrelevant these days as even your daughter can come from wherever she is, in a day.

Taking care of your parents is your foremost responsibility, if he or she is too old, then he should be taken care of like a child. Your parents have risen you to be what you are today, please take care of them, when they need you.