How We Should Not Be!

What we see, what we hear, what we think— ultimately, that’s how we will be. 

As much important as it is to know how we should be, equally important it is to reflect on how we should not be! We may not always know what’s the right thing to do, but using our discernment we should always keep the vices at bay… for us, as well as for others’ good. 

Here, I will talk about the vices and attitudes which we should never let seep into our personality. They are endless, so to speak. But I urge all of my readers to be especially aware of the following vices which are great hindrances in evolving as true human beings. And here I must reveal this secret to you which is not a secret at all: that only by attaining our true humanity, can we be truly spiritual. 

Now, on the way to becoming true human beings, we must rise above all that makes us less humane, compassionate and selfless. 

So, the very first vice that we must wipe out from our hearts is — selfishness. Without any doubt, it is the greatest evil on this planet. The mother of all inhumanities! Don’t be another selfish giant, already the world is full of them. The seeds of selfishness are sown into our hearts by none other than our families. Then by the world at large.

Don’t say, “Everybody is selfish in this world. If I don’t act selfishly I’ll not survive”. That’s a cheap thought. You are not here merely to survive. While the world is undoubtedly a crooked place to live in, it is ultimately we who make this world crooked, no? If you act selfishly, you will survive but, you know what, you’ll fail as a human being. Shun selfishness, if at all you want to be human. 

The second vice would be—compulsiveness. Don’t be a compulsive creature. Haven’t you seen those who don’t stop talking, eat more than necessary out of greed, and always seek the company of others to remain entertained — either through phone calls, chats or social media engagements? They are compulsive fools! Don’t be one of them. Always act consciously… you are human after all, not a creature! 

Abusive speech — this would be my third recommendation to completely avoid. One who doesn’t even know how to talk properly, I don’t consider him or her as human yet. I’d prefer not to talk with that person at all. Even if that means no relation, be it. When I see grown-ups, even aged people, talking in very bad ways, only this thought comes to my mind — “They haven’t even learnt how to talk even after all these years… pity them!” 

Why I am very particular about this is that speech is a very powerful instrument. Like a knife. When used insensitively and dangerously, it can cause deep wounds in our hearts. We get very much affected by others’ words, don’t we? All of us, at some point or other, have been hurt by someone’s words, and we also have done the same with others. We may not realize it, but every day we are doing himsa (violence) through our words. 

As a personal practice, I train myself in bak-tapasya (austerity of speech). You can read my article on this to be better acquainted with this concept. 

Be mindful of your speech. It’s a beautiful instrument if you carry it with love and understanding. 

Okay, the next will be egotism. Something, I’m sure, nobody can stand. When someone behaves in an egoistic way, we should bid them goodbye! It’s a hard thing to overcome. It creeps up at moments of contention, when we achieve something, when we beat someone in some task and when our self-interests get hurt. Ego breeds ill thoughts. We start to hate others, criticize openly and behave in arrogant ways. Beware of ego! It’s not a friend, my dear. It’s only a greedy dog. 

So far we’ve dealt with three. While there are innumerable others, I’ll end this list with one more: hypocrisy. Do you know what hypocrisy is? You are something in your heart, but something entirely else outside. You think in a way but show and act in quite the opposite way. You have selfish motives to fulfil, but you show you care—that my friend is hypocrisy.

If you are not straight within yourself, nobody else but you is the greatest fool! Because you are destroying all possibilities of reaching the highest good in life. You are fooling yourself! 

Therefore, be genuine in all your dealings. However small that is. Even when someone is asking you over the phone where you are, don’t lie that you are already on the way whereas you haven’t even left your house… be honest and tell the truth. We often lie over small issues. If you can’t be at least this much honest, how can you expect honesty from others‽ As Gandhiji said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” It’s as simple as that. Be straight. 

I think we should do away with all these… as quickly as possible. What do you think? 

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Thank you.

Feature Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/nLXOatvTaLo