Hurdles in Sadhana

As we are getting in to summer, many people are falling sick due to changing weather.  Ongoing pandemic has added to the increase in the number of people falling sick.  I’m in the middle of a sadhana and pray to the divine each day to protect it from any hurdles. 

But life happens you know.  I had an itchy throat for a couple of days which eventually developed in to a fever. 

My sadhana schedule starts early in the morning at 4 AM.  This day I was feeling particularly tired and had to move more than usual in my seat.  By the time two hours ended, I was all shivery and feeling exhausted.  I skipped going for my morning walk and decided to just pop a pill and rest.  It was surprising for me as I generally have a good immune system and can’t remember the last time I got fever. 

Throughout the day I kept hoping for a faster recovery so that I can sit for my sadhana the next day morning.  The fact that a friend who started the sadhana along with me had to stop due to fever kept lingering in my mind.  By afternoon, my body aches only got worse and I couldn’t move around much.  I still prepared an ‘aloo gobhi’ dish for my son as he had been asking for it.  This amplified my body pains.  I could feel my breath being hot as I was wearing a mask.

I was upset that things were not improving and I had to do something quickly.

As I lay in my bed, I sent an email to the ashram praying to Swamiji to forgive me for any of my transgressions and mistakes.  Then I sat up and meditated on ‘Mahishashura Mardini Stotra’.  A fervent prayer went out from my heart to Swamiji and divine mother to help me.  A few minutes later, a voice inside me said why don’t you have some lemon water?  So I went in to the kitchen and heated two big glasses of water and added a little bit of sugar.  My wife squeezed half a lemon in to it.

I said ‘Om Swami’ and blew on it three times and gulped it in a few seconds.  Another 10 minutes passed and I started sweating profusely.  It continued even more as I sat for my dinner.  

I wondered, the water was barely lukewarm and I am sweating like this?  There were no spices in my food, I can’t have them due to my hyper sensitive stomach.  So it had to be my Guru’s name which was causing this. 

I know, the rational mind will come up with a hundred different explanations.  But this is my truth and belief.  Guess what, fever was gone and I felt the energy back.  I knew I would be able to sit for my sadhana the next day morning.

Before I started the chanting, I expressed my tearful gratitude to Swamiji and divine mother with all my heart.  It was possible only because of their grace.

There are still many more days to go to complete this sadhana.  More hurdles might challenge me and who knows, may be I will be forced to start it all over again.  This experience has only asserted my belief and determination to stay on the path.