I Am Because You Aren’t

I tried
to look for you
in the mirror today
but all I saw
was the back of your head
that everyone said
would’ve been so similar
to mine.
Trickling down your neck
the poison you didn’t
leave for me
to bathe in.
Your hair
a dark deeper
than mine.
You were my first face,
the face
of my dreams,
the face
I learned to dream with,
but my dreams
blur out with every
new sun
and I try to remember
what touching you felt like.
You were my first monsoon,
and the seasons have since
turned on me,
the little puddles
where you stare back at me
are all the rain I get.
Maybe you would’ve lived
a happier life
than I do
without you here
but we’ll never know
of all your life
you chose
to breathe
into me.

To my twin who left me even before I knew her.