Independence

Can you guess the two most fundamental elements of human life? Yes, you guessed right, they’re the pursuit of happiness and the quest for freedom. The ulterior motive of any or every task that we perform in our life is either happiness or freedom or both. Still confused? Try it for yourself. Sit down and think of any one thing you are currently pursuing in your life and then ask yourself what’s the motive behind it. And if you focus well, you’ll end up your search with one of the elements mentioned above.

Google defines Independence as:

“The state of being free of the control of some other person, country, or entity.”

This month, on 15 August 2022, we Indians celebrated our 76th Independence Day, the day India achieved freedom against British Colonization 200 years ago. Our Freedom Fighters fought with all valor and spirit giving up their lives for the Independence of the nation. It was a proud as well as a very emotional moment for all Indians when Jawahar Lal Nehru, the then Prime Minister of India said in his speech called ‘Tryst with Destiny’– “At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom.”

But my question today is, “have we awakened to life and freedom?” Have we achieved the independence that we fought for so desperately? Are we really free of “The Control”?

You might often find asking yourself questions like “Why do all bad things happen to me?”, “Why does not anyone revert my love?”, “Why am I not good enough for anything?” ….and so on and so forth. According to research, a human being has approx. 60,000 thoughts per day- and 90% of these are repetitive. This inner turmoil is the result of our self-centered evolution and our fast-paced lives (a topic for some other article). And if you too find yourself trapped within the cages of your thoughts & emotions all the time, then independence and freedom are mere words in your life. I read somewhere, “Cages aren’t made of iron; they’re made of thoughts.” And thoughts, my friend, are the basis of everything in your life. Every event in our life originates from and ends in a thought.

But you can start your journey towards happiness and freedom beginning with little life changes.

Acceptance

It’s the first & most important step in this journey. Without acceptance, you’re not gonna observe any concrete changes in your life, let alone growth or freedom. It tells you that if you’re not taking responsibility for your past, your present is not going to get any better, with your future far away from the scenario. Acceptance opens the gates of possibilities for you; whether you’re looking for success or love, healing or transformation.

According to Voltaire’s observation, “History never repeats itself; man, always does.”

Acceptance gives you clarity that your past is not gonna change, no matter what you do or wish for, so stop repeating your mistakes and start making amends (that’s what we started doing after receiving independence). It makes you realize the fact that blaming others is not gonna take away the regrets or the pain that was inflicted upon you. So, forgive your past, and move on. And this takes us to the second step, i.e.:

Forgiveness

“To err is human, to forgive Divine.” The other day when I was scrolling through my whatsapp group I came across this beautiful message that said- “every time you forgive someone for their wrongdoings, Nature forgives you for one of yours.”. Life does not come with a rule book, so messing up is normal. And trust me, we all mess up at one point or another in life, that’s how we learn and grow.

You commit mistakes and expect others to forgive you; then why does forgiving others seem like such a big task? This is because humans are hardwired to retaliate. Our pride or self-esteem is injured in the process; our expectations or dreams are hurt and now we seek revenge for it. One of the reasons for this behavior runs down deep into our childhood when we are asked to hit back at the person or the entity that hurt us. It might seem cute at the time but it lays a powerful foundation for our adulthood emotions.

Lewis Smedes wrote, “To forgive is to set the prisoner free… and to discover that the prisoner was you.”

So, don’t let resentment imprison you for life; it will destroy you and your relationships. Forgive others for your own mental peace (that’s why we forgave the history of slavery and those who ruled upon us to find our own peace) or you’ll find yourself always stuck in the past no matter how hard you try to move on.

Right questions/Mindfulness

The next step in the journey is beginning to ask yourself (or your inner self) the right questions; after all, if you are asking yourself so many questions, why not the right ones? The idea here is to connect with your inner self and find your answers because any second-hand knowledge is merely an individual perspective (that’s how we started to depend on ourselves after getting freedom)

This is possible through mindfulness. Once you become aware of the thoughts in your subconscious mind, your perspective starts shifting. E.g., I remember when I started with meditation my first specific shift was from “Why me?” to “Why am I in this situation right now?” It’s not always about us and to understand this phenomenon we need to expand our consciousness. Jay Shetty, the famous inspirational speaker recently posted on his Instagram feed, “If you could see how many good things are in store for you, you wouldn’t be worried.”

Patience

Now that you’ve accepted your situation, forgiven yourself and others, and started being mindful of your present, the next big step to freedom is patience. Overnight success is a myth in any field. We just want to fast-forward everything in our life, our growing years, our promotion days, and especially the hurting times in our lives. We do not want to process any difficult emotions or face the reality; we just want it to pass. And in the search for better times what we miss is the beautiful journey all along, the process that leads to those results.

“One must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind him to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle – and a mystery” – H.G. Wells

Patience puts you in direct control of yourself. When you are patient, you give yourself time to choose how to respond to a given event, rather than get emotionally hijacked by your emotions. It allows you to stay gathered in the event of your inner turmoil, giving you a chance at freedom from future regrets and guilt.

Everything in this Universe happens at its own pace, so you need to stop asking for miracles and trust the process. This is only possible if you practice patience and believe in yourself and your dreams.

Acc. to Epictetus, the Greek stoic philosopher, “no man is free who is not a master of himself.”

If you learn to master your mind rather than being a slave to it, happiness and freedom will come to you by themselves. And stop telling yourself that your changing alone won’t make any difference to the world. Just like little drops make the mighty ocean, similarly, each individual combined makes up a nation; so, every effort matters. Keep working on yourself, rise above your thoughts and fears, and one day you shall be free in the true essence of its meaning.