Is It True That We All Die Alone?

After Basant Panchmi, the indications of spring have started arriving, and now we do not need those layers of sweaters and jackets to keep us warm. One more month up till Holi and all our winter clothes will be back in bags and shelves.

I feel happy about this, for this time of the year, that is around March, the season of spring, when the leaves are withering away to make way for new, is my favorite time of the year. I always feel short of words to describe the freshness in the atmosphere, the gentle waft of cool air, and the temperate surroundings.

Besides the New Year according to the Sanatan Dharma calendar has yet not begun. The date for the same is below:-

Hindu New Year 2023, Vikrami Samvat 2080

Wednesday, 22 March 2023

Although, this date does not mean much to most of us because we seem to have made boundaries with our roots, or have been methodically lured and conditioned away from our own traditions. We need to dismantle this in order to save the precious. Similarly, the relationships in our life are also precious for we need them or desire them, but in order to save them, we have to maintain certain boundaries.

In life, like everything else, whatever relationships we develop, have an expiry date, that is, either- they or you leave, or they or you die. Nothing is permanent in the material realm thus. If we develop too much dependency on someone, sooner or later, we’ll find ourselves dejected. Besides sadhakas on the path of spirituality are purposely told to thus be detached.

If we observe, it comes out as true, that no one in this whole world thinks more about us than we ourselves. In times of ordeals as well, no one can keep thinking about us all the time. At best, they can mark their presence and provide some sense of support. But, whatever we need to resolve, eventually, only we can do it. Dependency especially hyper-dependency is not a sign of love, it is a sign of toxicity, where both parties eventually suffer.

When my family life was crumbling, and I was deficient in having good friends, I’d become totally reliant on a few people, and ultimately, did cause myself and them a lot of misery. I now understand that for most of our lives, we live not with our parents, not with our spouse or children, but with ourselves. We are born alone and will die alone, so it is better we know how to live alone, especially when times require us to.

Besides as I said, one is never truly alone, for one is with themselves and with God. The two birds are sitting in the heart always. Now let me take you on a ride of some wonderful posts by our beloved writer members.

Wisdom from Our Members’ Bowl

Hikikomori – Sowmya Ji shares the story of her unrequited love for a man who is already married with kids. It all started years back when he was just a colleague and they were good friends but in time she was not able to forget the love she had for him, and what entailed was a long and arduous process of suffering and feeling lost. Reading this reminded me of Sadhvi Vrinda Ji’s story which she mentioned in her book, and I am made to ponder, that despite knowing what we should be doing we fail to harness the courage to rise above human failings. The post ends with a glimmer of hope, with yet another Japanese buzzword.

The Art of Being Alone – ‘I have also been asked how come I “manage” being alone. As if managing oneself isn’t something “normal”, isn’t something that should be done. As if managing oneself is like managing triplets… like HOW DO YOU DO IT?’ Neha Ji shares her story of how she transitioned into spending most of her time alone, despite growing up in a joint family. She shares wisdom about the art of being alone and what is needed to happily embrace it, as she herself writes that while she enjoys company, she has realized that everyone has temporary roles in her life. 

Divorce – Brooke Ji shares her struggles in an unhappy marriage. Her tryst with Jaimini astrology did already indicate that something like that could happen which left her distraught. But as she was spiritually inclined, she believed she could mend broken possibilities. She kept on bearing with the pain and anguish of that relationship, trying to wear a spiritual lens at all points. Her life then and now is different. She is divorced and ends the post in the true spirit of gratefulness.

Gospel of Om Swami 

Why do People Love or Hate You? – Like every article by Swamiji, this one too, strikes elegantly right at our heart. He explains to us the actuality of love, how it arises, and how it shrivels up. With powerful and meaningful stories, this is a must-read to understand what love and unconditional love are per se. In this are included frequently asked questions related to the subject matter which are an eye-opener. When I personally came to know this truth, it changed my life completely.

This truth makes me wonder, whether I can become capable of loving others truly, and unconditionally. Can I break through the walls of ego, my needs, and desires and embrace everyone despite what they or they do not give me? Well, there is a chance, as in this post Swamiji himself says that we can give unconditional love to ourselves and others. What it requires is the ardent practice of self-purification.