Last Meeting with My Dad

I was thinking about writing on him for so long, but I never found him inspiring enough. Truly speaking, I have millions of problems with my dad. Papa was a good person, as much as I got time to observe him. I still remember that time when he used to drop us at school and pick us up from there.  Finally, I have gathered some courage to share my inner thoughts about him. But I will be sharing all the truth and nothing but the truth. He might not be an inspiration for anybody, but he was a good example of how men ought not be.

My father used to take intoxicating drugs. He had everything in his life,  but he had bad habits too and those habits ruined not only  his life  but also ultimately took his and my mum’s life. Well, apart from this,  he had a good side too, obviously when he was not taking drugs.

He was into police but he quit his job. I have no clue about the reason. He was running restaurants and he shut them too. He had friends who took him on the wrong path. I believe in friendship but friendship with mindfulness. Then, after starting consuming drugs, he only had one job and that was asking my mother for money and beating her. Nothing else. But my mother was so sweet and inspiring and foolish at the same time. She started doing small jobs like stitching shawls etc., for earning the family livelihood, but mainly for supporting his craving for intoxicants.  We owe my mum a lot, she saved us, as long as she was in this world.

But I have already told you, that if you could take out the drugs from my dads’life,  he was the best father and the best husband. He used to bring toys for me and my younger sister and good food. I remember one night, Liza I and papa went out for eating. One mosquito went into papa’s ear. He was in pain but I and Liza were laughing. We had a good time for an hour and we went home taking some food for Mumma as well.

Then he started running an auto-rickshaw. I used to go with him. Truly speaking, those rides are the most beautiful memories I have of my dad. He used to take care of me a lot. He loved me a lot. But drugs made re-entry and he sold the auto and got back to his normal life. That was truly his normal life.

So, after my mother’s death, we had to choose whether we wanted to stay with papa or granny. That was a difficult choice but my Mumma made that easy for me because she had already taken a promise from me. I still think if that conversation between me and my mum was a dream or a real conversation. So, we went to granny’s home.

My dad used to visit us regularly. He used to bring toys for us. I loved to sit on his lap. He stayed with us too, one night and honestly speaking that night was not for us. He was searching for something which could buy him his high. Whenever I remember that night,  I feel bad for him.

 So, I vividly recall, I was in 5th standard. Liza, nani and I were enjoying the winter sun. Nani pointed out to me, Riya, your dad has not come for so many days. I said he might be busy. He will come soon . Then she said, his sister had telephoned Nani and told her that Dad  was sick. I did not care much about this conversation at that time. I said ok. Then in the evening his sisters came and said your dad is in hospital and he wanted to see both of us.

We were happy that we will go to our old home. We were not even thinking much about dad. I think my sister was in 1st or 2nd class. Then we went with the aunts and oh they directly took us to the cremation ground, where my dad was lying on pyre of wood and his brother was preparing for cremation. His younger sister saw us and hugged us and started crying. Even then, we did not realize much. We lost him at that moment. I wish we actually could have gone to the hospital so that we could have had a last conversation with him. He was not a bad man. He was a loving father.

Lessons from his life:

1.     Choose friends wisely.

2.     Stay away from intoxicants. Take help and kick the bad habit if you truly love your life and your family.

3.     No work is small. Do it rightly.

The biggest lesson is, Don’t be like him. Treat every woman respectfully.

Thank you,

Keep smiling,

Riya Om

Editing credit: Mr. RIS Sidhu uncle 

Image credit: Inc.Magazine