LOSING OUR LOVED ONES by Chander OM

The eternal truth of this world is death. The moment one is born one thing that is going to happen leaving all things aside is that we all have to meet the same destination. Seldom is that we enjoy the journey to this destination.

Yesterday I visited my native place as we lost the oldest soul of our family. She was 93 and was DADI AMMA for all of us. She was the one whom all of us looked upto when we needed advice.

When we were there, a lot of mixed feeling were there, I saw:

· People Mourning

· People discussing usual stuff

· People discussing politics

· People busy on phones

· People discussing people/ even discussing fashion

· Some making Blogs(online addicts)

Well, more to my surprise these were all closed relatives.

Pandit Ji was busy collecting money, 20/ here, 50/- there, 100/- here and 500/- there and family members were following instructions as was told.

Now question which was in my mind was how long it takes us to forget(Develop a habit of living without our loved one who have left us and moved to the divine place)

After having a discussion with my Chachu (our 82 years old handsome hunk) on my way back as the drive was 100km and in hills it is 3 hours, I concluded the following

The family can be subdivided into a few categories:

1. Close one (Who lived with the departed soul)

These are the ones which were living with the departed soul, the relationship could have been whatever still the had a routine. When a soul departs family and friends stay together for a week or 16 days depending the rituals followed by the family and then they start going back leaving behind the family members who were living together and then comes the jolt you start feeling the vacuum and the we remember the person at every step. These are the ones who suffer the most as they have to be in the same enclosure where they all were together before.

2. First Blood (Son, daughter which lived separated)

These are the people who have been around for a larger part of your life and now because of work, marriage of personal reasons have moved on and are living at some other place, some other city of may be country. They are attached to you they love you but they are not in close proximity of yours and these will be there during the ritual days but soon they will move back to there daily routines and soon it will be past.

3. Siblings

These have spent the early days of their lives together and now after marriage and jobs have taken them away they are busy with there responsibilities, their families and their own obligations. They are the ones who are from the same womb they understand your pain and laughter still they are under tremendous pressure due to their own obligations.

4. Acquaintances (these are in constant touch with the departed soul)

Now these can be friends, family or any other person who is in constant touch with the departed soul. He/she can be a maid or a attendant to the soul. These had a life around the departed soul and they have a fixed lifestyle due to the quality time they have spent together in the last days.

5. Friends

These are said to be brother/ sister from another mother and they are the lifeline of the people. It is said that if a person is blessed with good friends he can cross any hurdle in the path of life and can make the most memorable journey on this world. But seldom we have these gems. These suffer a lot when the soul departs.

6. Others

These are the walking buddies, morning walk buddies, coffee house friends, bar friends, colleague and other people whom you cross path in your daily routine. These are the one who are there with us working and spending sometime together.

When a soul departs the people, who are associated will get effected depending the time and relationship that you have with them. Now these people can be the one whom you may have scolded or you may have had a fight with. Now the question is who gets affected the most and it is the people who have a routine around these and they are an integral part of the daily routine. The vacuum that is created always remain. And that is not possible to be filled as the memories that we have of the departed soul can never be forgotten.

Losing some is not a problem but coping up with the lose is the most challenging part. It is rightly said that it is very easy for the person who has left to the heavenly bodies, but it is very tough for the person who has been left behind and living with the memories on.