Loving Yourself

I have been through a time when I didn’t love myself. Behaviors of others shattered my belief in me, I thought I am the powerhouse of negativity and toxicity. And did it help in anyway? No, rather I started expecting from others to understand me and drained my energy in days long overthinking and drained the energies of those around me as well. 

However, I took out the time to date my fears, darkness, complexes, insecurities and my haywire thoughts. I started observing the toxic patterns I was following in my life. The years long conditioning that world is a dangerous place,and there is no place for kindness, love and happiness,  I just vacuumed clean that rubbish mindsets. 

I took all the responsibility of my failures and what has gone wrong in my life upon my own shoulders. I accepted my mistakes. I loved my wounds to their very core. I filled each crack with love and gentleness. Loving myself did not only lead me to the process of self healing but to something magical. 

What’s so magical in self loving is not that it is an extraordinary process or it will change you in an overnight like most of the motivational influencers say. But it is about accepting all that is ordinary, about embracing your worst. It’s about being patient about your progress and accepting that healing is not linear and it will take time. 

I have not healed completely yet the process has made me learn that we all are struggling. That we all must allow each other to bloom in their own ways and own space. That forcing the outcomes has never helped anyone. Self love has made me let go of the control over the uncertainties of life and to surf with the ups and downs. 

If I have to evaluate my learning, I would say that life is a rollercoaster ride, we will not always find happiness, but what has helped me in all my adverities is kindness and love for ourselves as well as for others. On the days you can’t find enough motivation to love yourself, just love others, their sparkling eyes will reflect the love back. But never ever let bad times walk all over you and make you into a hard, bland, toxic person. Believe in goodness, the good things are awaiting for you, all ready!

P.s.: I have just expressed what was coming to my mind when I was looking back and comparing my old me to my new me! I had no intention to become a preacher when I am already contended in being an aspiring writer among the reservoir of great writers. Hope we all find our own ways of healing and can help each other on our journeys.