Mind Your Self ~ Self Round-Up

Self-care. Have you stumbled upon this term recently? I have! Everywhere. I tell you, everywhere. Okay, I joke. Almost everywhere. In department stores, on t-shirts, in promotional emails from fashion stores, when talking to teens, or on social media. I didn’t realise that this trend started post-Covid, when taking care of ourselves became crucial. “Self care isn’t selfish.” is a very common phrase at the moment. I admit, it’s almost cringeworthy, but it’s true. Unfortunately most of us, due to our conditioning, or the load of expectations and baggage which we carry on our shoulders, feel that we must take care of the entire world, or should I say, take care of our world. We believe that our loved ones’ happiness depends on us. That’s not the case. We matter, and if we cease to exist, well our world will no longer exist. 

The following passage from “Do you ignore yourself?” stayed with me ever since I read it and I always remind myself of this pure wisdom:

Imagine a tree, a strong and fruit-laden tree. If it is nurtured well, it will give more fruit season after season. Vines may creep around it, it may give shade to others, on its boughs, birds may build their nests, squirrels may home themselves somewhere in its trunk, there may be an aroma, a fragrance of freshness in the air. Not only does it seem to be supporting an ecosystem, it has almost become an ecosystem in itself.

All of the above is only possible if the tree is strong, if it gets nourishment and nutrition, if it has room to spread and grow its roots, if it gets fresh air, oxygen, and the sunlight it needs. If, however, the tree is starved and deprived of its basic requirements, it will start to decay before completely perishing one day. The consumers of its fruit, the birds, squirrels, other creepers, and the ecosystem, everything becomes affected adversely.

It’s very true isn’t it? We are that tree, and self-care is our nourishment. But what is self-care?

The Art of Self-Care

Let’s get R-E-A-L !

Read – Educate – Absorb – Listen

Physical Self-Care 

It’s no rocket science that it will be harder to lead a fulfilling life if our health is compromised. But it’s not easy to be healthy or to drop bad habits. The whole world, including your own temptations and habits will drag you back towards an unhealthy lifestyle. As Aashman Trivedi shared in his post titled Physical health might have killed your mental health, we should not be ashamed to follow a healthy lifestyle.

Read : Does Being Healthier Mean Being Boring? ~ Joe Gibson, Medium.

It is wonderful how as a teenager, Aashman shares a similar view to Joe, who expounds on the difficulties of walking the path towards good health. You may have experienced several temptations yourself, whereby you try to drop a habit, and adopt a healthier lifestyle, yet friends, and acquaintances manage to pull you back into the same old struggles over and over again. Perhaps, this is the most difficult challenge to overcome when it comes to physical health. Read Joe’s article about health and his thoughts on Why Choosing The Healthier Road Lacks Excitement.

The need to find a motivation from within, and find our ‘why’ behind exercising, is the key towards being healthier. And, good health is a crucial aspect of self-care. Can we feel good if we don’t like the way we look? By no means am I referring to attractiveness, and even worse, the societal definition of beauty. Instead, ask yourself if you really are the best version of yourself at the moment? Or at least are you trying to be? If yes, then great. If no, what’s getting in your way? Friends? Society? Laziness? Or yourself? Whatever it is, if you want to be well, your fitness is the number one priority. No matter how many spiritual practices we delve into, or how many meditation camps we attend, if at the end of the day we feel uncomfortable in our own skin, because of negligence, we are not caring for ourselves. We have a duty towards our beautiful selves. Just like we wouldn’t allow our children to neglect their health, fitness and wellness, why do we put ourselves last? You are gorgeous! Love yourself. Let’s love ourselves like we mean it, without fearing judgement from others! That’s physical self-care.

Mental Self-Care

Did you know that most university students suffer from poor sleep quality and mental health? They also frequently fail to adhere to a healthy lifestyle with regards to nutrition and fitness. Yes, partying and staying up all night is common amongst University students, however, these habits have also been proven to impact self-care behaviours.

Educate: Sleep Quality, Self-Care Behaviors, and Mental Health Risk in Australian University Students ~ Dr Benedetto

A group of Australian researchers have confirmed that good self-care behaviour is associated with physical activity and consumption of fruit and vegetables. A link between depression and low self-care was also found, amongst Australian students. Feel free to explore the abstract of the research titled “A Cluster Analysis of Sleep Quality, Self-Care Behaviors, and Mental Health Risk in Australian University Students” as we educate ourselves with new scientific research.

I am confident that these findings also apply to other adults and younger teens. As it is with life, everything is perhaps interlinked. Physical , mental, spiritual and emotional health, all have an impact on one another. If we manage to come to the realisation that we have a mind and we are not the mind, most of our mental troubles would disappear from our existence, or at least our world. We have the power to drop a thought, we have the flexibility to dismiss opinions and we can witness our thoughts. 

Spiritual Self-Care

At the end of the day, whether it’s physical or mental self-care or any care, it is all about love. 

“Spirituality in its truest essence is nothing but universal love.” ~OS

Absorb : Are You in Love?~ Om Swami, os.me

We often associate spirituality with meditation, mindfulness, kindness and compassion, sometimes even religious practices. However, what’s the actual purpose of any spirituality? It’s to fill ourselves with love, so that we may love ourselves and gradually love others as much. The easiest way to take care of our spiritual self-care is by being kind, compassionate and mindful, I believe. These somehow unleash the love within us, as our mind settles, and our heart blooms.

As you enjoy Om Swami’s wisdom about love, try to absorb some of the profound truths He shares about our true nature:

“A person who is fulfilled within is the only one who gets to experience and share true love. For, you need to be emotionally rich to pay the love bills. It is therefore no coincidence that true spirituality will lead you to the purest form of love and true love will turn you into a sublime spiritual being.” ~ os.me

Don’t we all feel loved when we love and when we are loved? Isn’t that self-care too? Yes. Well then, you know exactly what you gotta do!

Emotional Self-Care

Don’t worry! Be happy! Easier said than done. Our aversion to sadness and the rise of the law of attraction trends can be rather detrimental to our emotional health. We have this belief, that we should suppress our emotions, and remain happy no matter what. Happiness is a habit, not a battle. I’ll end this round up with a powerful YouTube Ted Talk.

Listen : The secret to a happy life based on 8 decades of research ~ Robert Waldinger, Harvard University

Yes, you read that right – they followed people for 80 years. 

Take aways:
1. Social fitness supports our wellbeing. Any type of relationship, whether that’s friendship, intimate relationships, talking to strangers, or colleagues.
2. Many of the happiest people had the happiest lives.
3. The realisation that everyone has struggles on this planet, can help us feel less alone.
4. Watch for more!

It’s okay to have disagreements, it’s okay to have a quiet life, it’s okay to have sad moments. Emotional self-care is about getting in touch with our feelings and acknowledging how we are feeling. Sharing our thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend always helps, and taking time away from our devices can also enhance our emotional health.

Before this round-up which is supposed to help the tldr moments makes you go tldr, I’ll cut it short. All in all, self-care is about caring for the ‘my’ in ‘my life’, because my friend, remember, if we are not a nourished fruit-laden tree, we can barely be of help to the world, let alone to ourselves. So, what will you be implementing in your life to kick start your own self-care? Please share your thoughts, so we may inspire each other, especially if you have taken up something new this year!