Monkey Cough

I heard a monkey cough today.

I was walking the dogs, minding my own business, practicing being in the moment one step after the other when a sharp chuuuu! startled me from above the head.

I turned around thinking it was a baby sneezing. Why would a child be on a cypress? I looked up and that’s when I realized the sniffle was not human, rather from a lonely monkey perched on a sturdy branch touching the blue sky. She was staring back at me, may I help you? Eyes wide open, sharp teeth showing. Definitely in no mood to be bothered. 

And just like that, in a blink of a sneeze I am back to when my children were getting sick and my job was to take care of them. Because being a mother.

Not gonna lie I could have been a better mom. A more patient one for sure. A more involved also. I found motherhood to be one of the most difficult tasks one can accomplish. Almost as difficult as living with the same person for many years, let’s not go there now. Maybe it’s the same for fatherhood; I don’t know. It comes with no instructions, no what to do list, no one to pat you on your back when you do the right thing and no one to tell you you shouldn’t have done that, Elena, except your conscious. Perhaps.

I think about the past often, maybe I haven’t made peace with it fully. The years moving faster and faster as death inevitably approaches. Yes I know it sound gloomy, alas one of the few certainties we have in life. I don’t worry about the future, though. Faith is my companion, my best friend, my comfort blanket and I know what’s meant to be will show up at my doorstep in its own divine time. No point in bringing energy to unnecessary places.

What was, though, that’s always there. Poking me in the smallest parts of my body. In the most unexpected moments. Like those annoying passengers, when I was a flight attendant, who would tap the side of my thigh to get my attention as I was walking down the aisle. Please don’t do that. 

Do you realize how much unnecessary time we waste on ruminating on what was? Why is it so difficult to stay focused on the present? On the task at hand, on one thing at a time? The mind loves to play, to go, jump this way and that, take up space in the head, like on a treadmill. Someone make it stop! I gotcha, whispers meditation. 

Let’s do this together. Close your eyes for a moment. Drop your shoulders. Relax your jaw. Take a deep inhale through the nose. Hold it for a moment. Let it go through your mouth, making the sound ahhhh as if you were fogging a mirror. Repeat. And repeat. As long as it serves you. Feeling better? I hope so. 

And there you have it, the underrated tool to stay right here. To stop the rollercoaster from taking over. To learn from the past and prepare for the future while remaining right here, on solid ground.

The only moment you have is this one. 

If you wish to practice meditation with me check out this short practice here

Thanks for reading.❤️