Mother

Can a man be a mother?

When I first fell in love with you
I didn’t know who you were
Obviously I didn’t know who I am.
Still don’t
Yet I wanted to be your child
Still do.

How strange this world
How strange your ways and the ways
Of the divine.

Days passed and I found within me
A kindling.
Growing, like an old flame.
I thought I had lost it,
I don’t know if you rekindled it
If it’s your child
Or mine.
It doesn’t matter
As long as it grows in me.
Bit by bit
Everyday.

The fire grows
I will be consumed by it.
Just like my own mother I found myself asking
Will this child take care of his mother?
Will he make his father proud?

No, no. That’s irrelevant.
A mother will just love.
With discipline I must protect it from
The vagaries of this worldly fair.
Perhaps one day this flame will help
Light up someone, sometime, somewhere.

I’ve bothered you endlessly for child support
You know,
I’ve dreaded the idea of being a single mother
But hey, I’m not alone.

They say, if you love someone, set them free
Every time I tried I thought
What if you don’t come back
Right when I need you?
What if I turn into that shepherd boy
The boy who cried wolf?

Battered by life, I got to see a battery
That only recharges you, never shocks.
How long will I keep at this?
How long shall I keep breaking rocks?

As long as it takes for my child to grow up
For my mind to shut up
As long as it takes for the fire to burn away
All these walls I’ve built up.