Mumma 🙏

I offer my humble obeisance to you Rev. Sri Sri Om Swamiji🙏🕉 Much love , peace and good health to you🙏Hari Om🙏🕉

Its almost 4. 30 am. The temperature dipping to almost -16 degrees, one experiences complete solitude in the space.
The morning silence all set as a good companion to share its time and hear me out. I had slept really late, as I got pulled towards drawing a portrait of Shiva the prior evening. It was rather unplanned, completely  out of the blue. I was already working on painting the Dhanwantri Cow but felt compelled to sketch a new painting.  As always the vision in the head was way too speedy for my amateur hands. There are times when I constantly feel like painting non-stop. But it requires immense time to slowly and steadily work and sketch  on the expressions, movements and match up to what is preconceived. 

In this case I had internalized  the vision of Lord Shiva , how it must appear and then started to roughly sketch on the blank canvas. At times one has to shelve even the preconceived idea and draw intuitively. 

Subtle yet powerful, Shiva’s face was not easy to sketch. For almost 4-5 hours of the sketch , I took a break, switched off the lights, meditated a bit and again switched on the light to see the sketch…observing it deeply and still wanting  to add something more to it. I did manage to do some more work on it and by almost 1.30 am  hit the bed a bit unsatisfied as rest was important for me to recoup well for the next day. Like  a hungry little child craving to do the pending work, I fell asleep with its vision in my head.

Woke up with  a sweet dream of my dear Mom around 4 a.m. We were travelling in a car with my daughter. Whilst on the way the chauffeur was made to stop the car and my daughter quickly headed to a store to get some stuff. I noticed my Mom engrossed in deep thoughts. A serious and deep look never did suit her beautiful, warm face, for she was always bubbly and  lively and ever present for everyone however her mood or health was. She was simply adorable. I so looked up to her as she inspired me in so many ways. That’s what Mothers do to our heart.

A sudden thought crossed my mind. I immediately looked out to catch a glimpse of the surroundings and quickly got out to head to a store few steps away.

“Mom, I shall be back in few mins, need to grab something”, I cuddled her warmly as I picked my bag to leave.

“Okay, come soon, she replied in very subtle tone, rubbing my hand.  Her soft beautiful hand carried the warmth of her love. Also what would always catch my eyes is that special antique, simple, sliver metal ring  that she wore for ages which my father had gifted her when they got engaged. Pappa ji was a struggler during those days, and could only afford to buy the most simple ring for her through his earnings. But she never ever forgot that , even when she was blessed with all the riches. Never for a day did she take it out. It had lost its sheen , the metal looked dark but no one could ever ask her to take it out. It was that precious to her. I guess that’s what true and pure love is all about.
More than anything this very sensitive and caring nature reflected even more deeply when she was in the role of a mother,  for she taught us the joy of living life by understanding and loving the simplest things that were adorned with feelings as most precious.

I rubbed her soft hands, feeling the creases on her knuckles. She had worked hard indeed in raising us ( me, my sister and brother) beautifully well all her life. Her hands spoke a lot of her graceful legacy.

As I pen down these words I am in tears for she never ever gave up on gracing a good life to us. Her kindness and giving nature were purely a part of her very identity.

I stepped out of the car and headed for the the outlet . It was a jewellery store and I was sure what I had to buy.

“How may I help you?” the salesperson at the outlet was rather soft in his approach. 

“Could you please show me some beautiful rings” I sounded a bit hurried and the salesperson could sense it. 

In no time he took out the boxes and displayed some beautiful stuff.

I knew I had sufficient cash ( one whole bundle of almost 20000 rupees . In the eighties it was considered a fairly big amount ) But somehow I was not too sure if that money would be enough to buy a heavy ring, for the probability was, that it could cost a bit more .  I knew my Mom was used to buying and wearing heavy jewellery.

Strangely, I noticed that there were few small gold coins in the outer zip pocket of my bag. I quickly took them out and  handed those coins to the jeweller and asked him to evaluate it and add its sum along with the amount of the ring, that I was going to pay after choosing.

I quickly managed to select a beautiful ring for my Mom, though I knew it was nothing in comparison to the simple precious ring my father had gifted her. But this was for the spontaneous special feel within me to thank her . My heart beats had increased with joy as I wanted to see my Mother’s  face light up with a big smile.

How lucky and blessed are we to get an opportunity to make them feel a little special every now and then in our own sweet ways. Aah! I wish I could keep her joyful always ,  I could do anything for her .

Strangely, just  as I was about to pay for it, the salesperson handed a beautiful yet peculiar looking conch shell to me. It was somewhat elongated a bit wavy , and had a bit of turquoise  engraving on the sides, quite unlike the normal conch shells.

“ Ma;am it’s one of a kind , please buy it”, he requested rather submissively.

I looked at him quite strangely, for I had no intentions to buy it. But this unusual looking conch was so captivating that I could not resist myself. Probably it would be another exquisite gift for my Mum. Maybe it was Divine will, I thought because I could notice that in that big  jewellery outlet they only sold gold ornaments. Where did this conch shell appear from?

In my hearts of hearts I prayed that with those gold coins and the bundle of money in my bag , am able to pay for both the ring and conch .

I quietly opened my bag and was taken aback by what I saw in it. There were not one but two bundles of  the rupees in it. How come?

I thanked God enough for the sufficient amount I had now.

At the back of my mind I was worried for Mom who was waiting for me in the car. So I hurriedly paid for the beautiful gifts  and thanking the salesperson, rushed to the car.

My daughter was already there waiting too with a smile. She could clearly  make out from my looks that I had some surprise gifts for her granny. I guess we look and walk a certain way when we have to give surprises to others. 

Once seated in the car, next to my Mom,  I first  handed the gold ring to her. “This is for you Mum” and before she could figure out opening it, I handed her the second gift .

“This too! for you”.  She was a bit surprised,  smiled softly and unwrapped and saw the ring and the conch shell.

Feeling the shell softly with her loving hands she looked at me and uttered “ Hope you did not fall short of money beta?”

I looked at her totally zapped!! How could she read my thoughts whilst I was at the jewellery store. I almost controlled my tears and my voice  was completely choked with emotions.  I had nothing to say….If I recollect all through the years, I never felt short of anything… but there were times when I desperately needed , it somehow appeared….  I held her hands to feel her warmth and solace she ever exuberated. Who is to question her Divinity. Love you Mom🙏

This is what a Mother’s sacred energy is!  The heart of a Mother ever rhymes with the feelings and frequencies of her children . Her Blessings carry a world of abundance in all spheres of our life , in every breath that her child breathes. 

A Mother’s love is irreplaceable. She remains ever warmly welcoming,  kindling our hearts silently. 

Miss you Mom… you left way to soon, almost 40 years and you still keep guiding me. I sense you around , esp.  in all my sacred moments.

Thank you for re-visiting after long, through my paintings. There is much more to this dream that you want to convey . I know for one thing  that I have to sketch the beautiful ring and Conch shell  onto my Shiva’s Painting and all my future paintings henceforth🙏

❤️🙏🕉 Thank you Maa for eternally being there ❤️🌺🌿

Lets always make the best of moments with our dear Mom and hold her preciously. 

Grace of Divine be on all of you my Os family and all the readers. Thank you for your precious time. 🙏

Jai Sri Hari,

Siddhika Umesh