My Egoistic Head Near His Padam-Feet

“You haven’t eaten anything today! Have you kept a fast on MahaShivratri?” Ma (my mother) asked me standing outside the main office of Sri Badrika Ashram around 3:30 p.m.

“That’s true. I haven’t eaten anything.” I replied.

“And water?”

“Till now, I haven’t. Tells see what is God’s wish!”

I woke up at 12:30 in the morning, did my prayers and meditation, drove my car for about an hour on highway, took metro from HUDA City Centre, Gurugram to New Delhi Railway Station, dragged baggage on long railway platform, traveled in train watching live telecast of Sadhana App launch, carried bags on Kalka Railway Station, took a prebooked taxi through the terrain to Sri Badrika Ashram and was now waiting for the room or the dorm bed to be allotted. I could easily stay without eating food for some days but this time I challenged myself by not drinking water while living a normal life.  

After getting fresh, I went to the discourse room to get the seat near Vidu Swamiji’s camera and recording area where I generally used to sit. However, to my surprise, camera and recording area had been shifted to the center of the room to cover the abhishekam of Lord Shri Hari. There was a line of division dividing the seating area into two. Where I generally sat, had cushions with sheets of paper shouting ‘RESERVED’. I asked a woman on other side of the line of division, “Are we not allowed to sit there?”

She said, “No. If anybody sits there he/she will be asked to get up from there.”

I took a seat on the other side of the line quiet close to that woman. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my mantra but I could not as my mind wandered about the line of division. I had never seen this before. Moreover, why it was two feet wide?

My mind kept wandering about the length, breadth and the twists in line of division. I complained in my thoughts, “Why I am sitting too far from you? Can you do something to decrease this distance and to erase this wide line of division? I neither have eaten nor drank anything today, just to have a darshan of your smiling face.” My eyes became moist.

Just a few minutes before the entrance of Swamiji in the hall, some volunteers rolled the pastel sheets from the line of division and below them; the black velvety mat was shinning bright. My Goodness! So, it was the path from which Swamiji would be going to Garbhgrah.

I was too shy to ever sit near those velvety mat on which Swamiji stride from entrance gate to Garbhgrah and back. I happily bowed Him from a distance. Moreover, today, when I was doing tapas He would be walking on the line of division and I was sitting just adjacent to it.

“Khudee ko ker baland itna kay har Taqdeer se pahlay”
“khuhda bandey se khud poochey bata therie reza kaya hai”
~Allama Iqbal

(Raise yourself to such great heights so before every destined act, God himself asks what is it you desire.)

It was His pure love and grace that He bestows upon me amidst His busy schedule.

After a while, my egoistic head was near His Padam-Feet only 6 inches away. It lightens my heart, fills my mind with strength, peace and purity. Next time I would do more intense tapas to decrease this distance to zero! 🙂 As it is the greatest and rarest privilege in life to touch the Padam-Feet of Guru.

In Guru Bhakti Yoga, Swami Sivananda says, “Dedication to the Lotus-Feet of Guru must be ideal and watchword for the disciple. On auspicious days, disciple should fast and meditate on the Lotus-Feet of the Guru, to grant him real devotion to His Lotus-Feet.”

Har Har Mahadev!

Pic : Pixabay