My Fragile Heart-5

It took me six years to come to a stage where I could finally manage myself and be stable. I had gone through numerous twists and turns in my journey with some steps forward and many steps backward. But now the equation has changed. If I am still taking one step backward there are two steps forward too.

In this post, I will share my journey of how I healed; that how I came to a place of lightness and coziness in my heart. Although I still suffer from anxiety and other problems from time to time, it is much less prolonged than ever before. There were many factors involved in my healing:

1. Letting go of past trauma– I had to let go of things that have hurt me in the past, things that bothered me, things that had got etched deeply in my conscience. With time I could let go of my past and embrace the ever-changing new. Sometimes I still get bogged down by past events but it is much less frequent and very near to what is normal.
2. Accepting my father – I was in an estranged relationship with my father but gradually things between us started sorting out. I understand him and his decisions much better than I ever did. We still have our differences but I hope that will also be sorted out with time. I know he is my father and that he loves me. I try not to judge him for his past.
3. Swamiji and Bhagwaan– This understanding that Swamiji and Sri Hari Bhagwaan are there with me has helped me overcome many obstacles. Bolo Swamiji Ki Jai! Bolo Sri Hari Bhagwaan Ki Jai!
4. Swamiji’s teachings– His teachings have impacted me deeply and I consider that they have served as a very important factor in my healing. By slowly understanding his teachings, I developed the strength to surrender, to let go and to move on and I could understand the deeper intricacies of life and beyond.
5. Help by my therapist-My therapist has been a constant support and guide in my healing. He is one of the most marvelous persons I have ever met.
6. Healthy lifestyle changes– meditating daily has helped me keep tension at bay.
7. Understanding my responsibilities– I understand that as the elder brother and sibling I have responsibilities over my shoulders for my family. I have to make myself capable to look after not just me but my whole family and this served as an exit barrier from my anxious mind.
8. Accepting reality as it is– Acceptance has played a key role in my healing. Often, I kept myself deluded in fantasy and imagination and it was hard for me to accept things but when I started accepting things for what they truly are I started recovering.
9. Family’s reunion– Some months back my family united for the first time in my life. I am seeing peace in my family for the first time which positively affected my mental health. A dysfunctional family is a major reason for depression and mental disorders in children and adults alike and I was no different.
10. Giving time to self– Reading, writing, pursuing hobbies and also time for self-introspection on a regular basis has helped me keep my positive and energized.
11. Maintaining a digital journal– I maintain digital notes on my phone where I write something re-affirming about something that is bothering me and slowly, I observe that after I have given some argument to my mind to be positive or something courageous it stops its blabberings.#TheWriteChoice