My Old Struggles

A small story for today –

“नहीं मुझे नहीं पसंद,
मुझे बात करके मज़ा नहीं आया.

No, I don’t like him.
I didn’t enjoy talking to him, ”

And she was glue-tight….. totally quiet. On such an important topic also her response is so short.

“Aye neeru! What’s wrong with you? कमी क्या है उसमें.?
Can you give me even a single reason?
इतने अच्छे रिश्ते रोज़ रोज़ नहीं मिलते.
Its not daily that you get such good proposals.”

Her brother said in a very irritating tone.

Neeru was still quiet.

“He is a bank officer,
he has his own house,
he looks okay too,
his family also seems good, just one younger brother, sister is already married….

Now, tell me what else do you seek”, he continued with the same authoritative tone.

Still no reply from her side. This is the best she knows – to keep mum, not replying. Often, very often she goes into her silent zone for days together. Whenever things fall into unchartered territories, or go towards directions leading to mental tension, argument, disharmony, irritation.

When a young heart is surrounded with only those who were never exposed to anything beyond the struggle of arranging two times meals, then it would wilt and wither away eventually. Such parched lands can’t hold any beauty. Only cactus survives.

He, however, chooses to add further to his argument –

“Moreover, you are well aware of our own family conditions, financial as well as social . Papaji remain sick and can’t earn. Elder brother is not capable enough in any way. Younger one is “missing” since one year. God knows where he is. Its my advise that say yes for this boy”, his voice was a bit soft now.

Her brother Bharat is the only one who shoulders almost all responsibilities, which a father is expected to handle. He always tries to give her younger sister best support in a family which is totally unstable from every desirable angle. Still, this family is intact. There never is a choice. It is so well said that beggars can’t be choosers. A family which survives on foodgrain from ration-shops, kids getting education in govt. run schools and sick are treated in govt. hospitals, do not have choices.

Yet, Neeru being who she is, mentally aloof from the rest, hardly gives an ear to what Bharat is saying. She doesn’t have anything to say in support of her decision. She sticks to the one and only sentence she has been saying to her brother –

“मेरा दिल हाँ ही नहीं कर रहा तो मैं क्या करूँ!” “My heart is not saying yes. So…what do I do!”

Just because it fits into certain scale and standards set by our society, doesn’t mean one can’t reject it. Just because everyone around you is marrying according to the set patterns, doesn’t mean you have to follow it too. Just because you belong to a not so well settled, insensitive and bitter family doesn’t mean you can’t have your say. Certainly not.

Or, does it?

At last, her brother gives up. He knows that now Neeru will not say yes . She may look timid, but inside this thin, lean and weak structure of five foot and 42 kg, lies an adamant, rebellion, may be immature, but a unique self.

ये दिल भी न बेसिरपैर की चीज़ बनाई है रब ने.

सच में जब ये बोलता है न तो अच्छे अच्छे समझदारों को चुप करा देता है.

Emotions really have no solid grounds. Whatever you feel, you feel. No reason works, no logic applies. And if these are the emotions of a young, tender heart, who is on a look out for that special SOME ONE, then the chances are even remote to alter them.

Finally, the proposal stands cancelled.

A heart wins. 😊

🌹Jai Shri Hari 🌹

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