My Struggles

Jai Shri Hari,

I never thought that I would be writing this post but for the last one year people around me (so-called friends of Kaliyuga) have forced me to write this down.

I came to the ashram with a clear conscience that the life I had lived so far was not fulfilling. When you are in a society that is abusive to women, children and the downtrodden, we sometimes imagine why we were born (isse achha toh paida hote hi mar jaate).  

The same thought would cross my mind several times since childhood. Every day was a struggle and still is If I go back. I have seen people mocking others because they didn’t have enough resources to live. When you are kicked out of homes, by the people you think are your own, where will you end up? Still, Bhagwaan’s grace was always there and will always be. Bhagwaan looked after me like a mother and always made sure that I had everything which I wished. With His Grace, we had enough to at least have a full meal every day two times.

As a person having seen all this in life, I decided to leave that maze and come here in Ashram and stay under the wings of my Master. Staying under his tutelage and guidance, I always saw him as my mother and He too loves me as HIS own child. That’s it! I don’t want anything else in my life.

I left the ashram twice and came back, and everytime my Master loved me unconditionally. What more should I ask for?

I didn’t come here to be a part of a race or competition to become Swamiji’s disciple. Swamiji gave me initiation just out of grace and love, nothing else.

I didn’t come here to get praised by Swamiji every now and then, which will make me feel special.

I didn’t come here because I was not able to fend for myself or in simple plain words I was a poor person so I came here to eat food three times a day. Yes, I say with pride that I am from a humble background but Bhagwaan has always been kind to me.

Yes my Master has initiated me into Brahmacharya – it’s between me and my Master, whether I will be successful or a failure in this path Please let Swamiji decide.

Whether I stay in Ashram or outside Ashram, Swamiji is my Master and I am his disciple this bond will remain unbroken forever.

Yes, I don’t know how to do seva. Still, Swamiji is my Master and he doesn’t have any problem with it.

Yes, I get a very good Salary from the Sadhana app. It’s my Master’s vision and I am proud of being a part of this app. 

When someone is crying, it means that person is in PAIN. Please, please, please understand this, you educated people of the 21st century. 

To those who can relate to my struggle – Please remember apart from your GURUDEV there is nobody else in this Samsara. Because only in this relationship can one experience REAL and TRUE LOVE.

This is my struggle which I wanted to make clear to everybody around me. Please LIVE and LET ME LIVE peacefully.

Pranam

Thanks for reading.