Of Influences

Part 1: The External Influences 

Let me start with a fact-check. You as an individual are a product of many factors. Some are obvious; to some, we are just blind. Do you know what they are? Being aware of them and how they influence us is something that we all must cognize. This write-up is an attempt to make you familiar with all those obvious and not-so-obvious factors that have shaped us the way we are now, and still continue to influence us.  

What good is such an exercise? Don’t you want to know the constraints that keep you always less than your potential? Or do you think you already know? Well, if you know, great! In that case, take this piece from a new perspective. This might make you clearer as well. So, let’s start then.

Well, there are many such limiting factors. Some of them are common to all of us, while some are unique to every individual. Therefore, I shall keep myself concerned only with the general condition. 

The Family Nest

Whether you like it or not, this is a fact that we are largely a carbon copy of the family lineage we belong to. Although we like to think we are solely different individuals, and although it’s true that everyone is unique, to a great proportion we carry the ancestors within us—both immediate family members and forefathers. This is true both biologically and socially. You may think you are not like any of your family members, and it can also be true, but if you examine your life you may see that your whole personality—the way you think, feel, behave, dream, and live—is greatly circumscribed by your family members. After all, how do we learn all these things? From our family members and our society. Surely, you are unique, with your own style of thinking and way of looking at the world, but I urge you to do a CT scan of your mind; you’ll find how much they still exist in your personality and thinking! 

Is this influence bad? Not necessarily. But generally speaking, the family way of life is not conducive for those who want to lead a spiritual life, and usually, sansarik people cause the greatest bondage for each other, in every way. Hold on, I’m not denigrating the role of sansar. In fact, sansar gives us the greatest spiritual training. But, this whole way of living is antithetical to the spiritual way. Almost diametrically opposite. One is the way of bhoga; the other demands the utmost tyaga. See the antithesis? 

Now, if you don’t have a spiritual atmosphere in your family, it becomes a frustrating struggle to balance these two dichotomies. So, if you are not that fortunate to have a spiritual family, and want to grow spiritually, you must rise above the familial influence. Because they will keep pulling you down, out of ignorance and habit. So, what you have to do is you have to become psychologically independent. This means you are not influenced or circumscribed by their level of thinking. Do you get me? 

Be the bird that leaves its nest one day to explore its own sky. If not physically, at least psychologically. 

The Social Conditioning

Society—with its numerous beliefs, norms, rituals, and dogmas—conditions us as social creatures. This is the next and even bigger influence in our lives. Let’s see how. 

What are your dreams? Your ideologies? Your preferences? Your definitions of everything? The whole structure of our life is a social process, isn’t it? Whatever you are trying to achieve—and the manner you are executing this—the whole of it has been taught to you by society. But, the hard reality that you don’t want to see is that you don’t know what you’re supposed to do in life, you’re following the herd. Your dreams, aspirations, ambitions, goals—everything has been fed to you, and you’ve lived believing that this is life indeed! Unfortunately, we’ve been foolish all the way. 

I’m going to make a strong statement here.

If at all you want to reach your highest state, you have to break ALL your conditioning!

Live in this world, but don’t be like it. Awaken your own original spark!

Sanga: The Company We Keep 

Just as we become very particular when we go shopping and dress up, similarly we should be selective about the company we’re keeping. Whether in the office, on social media, in groups or clubs, or anywhere, the company we keep influences us greatly. That’s why the advice of being in satsangs is so inherent in our culture because the wise men of our culture long ago understood the importance of sanga. This time-old advice will be relevant for eternity.

Choose your company wisely. If you find none, be alone.

Solitude is actually necessary if you’re on the spiritual path. It teaches you independence and makes you internally strong. 

Last Words

These are the external influences on us. But there are internal influences as well. An examination of them will require a separate piece. They are within us—as sanskars and vrittis. Both acquired and inherited. I’ll explain them in the next part. Do share your thoughts on this. 

Thank you for being in this space. Jai Shri Hari!

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Other Posts to Immerse Yourself:

1. Too Quick To Comment? Please Hold Your Tongue.

2. How We Should Not Be.

3. The Power of 3D’s.

Feature Image Credit: runeer/ istockphoto.