Pa

I offer my obeisance to you Rev. Sri. Sri. Om Swamiji🙏 wishing you much love, good health and peace abundant. Hari Om🕉🙏

Pappaji…

Today is your Birthday my dearest and loving Pa. What do I give as a gift  to a Giver . A Giver of my very existence . I am already feeling overwhelmed even as I begin to pen down words of my very heart beat …that is you.

Where do I begin from? How do I praise you? For all I can gather is you were far more than perfection. So much perfection that I hardly could notice any pain or suffering you went through ever. But I surely did notice your pain when you saw me going through pain.

You took it all on you as if shielding me from any kind of hurt I encountered. An ardent Bhakt of Hanumanji your will to fight out all odds and your large heartedness  was simply awe inspiring for me. Your Faith in the Divine  kept embalming me and very subtly you passed your strengths , your virtues onto me. Little did I realise that you were preparing me to face the untimely , the unknown , yet destined plan and say good byes to me forever. You left me way too soon Pa.

Oh, how could you hide all your sorrows , your pain, so graciously ! What was the purpose of your birth my Saintly Pa?

Why were you the epitome of strength? Why were you such a superstar? How calmly you handled your emotions even when you suffered. The flash back of my memories when I witnessed you waking at odd hours of night  with the discomfort of an itchy eczema problem on both your legs that you suffered from many years but reflected only calmness in those moments. Even on days when you had high fever, you only looked to methods of praying and healing yourself at the earliest , for you knew that your work which was like worship for you would suffer. How did you deal with all the pressures with so much resilience ? You never ever mentioned you needed some respite too. 

But I feel you learnt to practice to burn and build yourself passing through all the  major environmental triggers of your life since a very young age of 8-10 years, shouldering every responsibility of your father who was bedridden because of the sudden huge losses during the Partition period  . You made a tough you, and accepted the suffering as part of your system and accepted all as His Grace. I admired your strength  every bit and felt  that the world is the most magical place because of a Father like you .

I saw how you proved to yourself each day that time was precious and that the moment had to be made constructive . You willed and you lived powerfully.

Your simplicity was  your true identity. It reflected in every little detail of your actions. A simple example was the home made food which was your favourite and your dear wife left no stone unturned to please you by cooking the most tasty food and you would praise her efforts even when she missed out adding salt to your fav dish . You would pass a smile and always say..”when food is served , just have it with reverence and Grace without complaints”. Every action of yours blossomed in the form of truth and discipline and with each  passing day to this date your teachings open me up to deeply understand and sort my very own experiences.

Your evergreen smile , lovingly listening to our wishes, your care and undying love for your dear wife, every little bit of the world you created  spoke of a life that carried  in it the will to perish in pure love and kindness . You left a big closet of  treasure  behind of strong hidden messages  my Pa.

How was it that you conducted yourself with such a calm demeanour?

You knew all through I was very sensitive as a child and whenever you saw me sitting quietly , brooding  or writing poems you would gently kiss on my forehead and say “you don’t need to figure out the world too much, just keep growing through life with a pure intent in your heart”.

How I conceived myself and perceived my life in all stages would not have been possible without your kind touch Pa.

Makes me ponder as I grew with time , where did you get the patience to quieten your inner child that too needed nourishment of love and peace? It also required your attention, for all I could see your time being so devoted to lovingly catering to the needs of all in the family and all of those whom you met on the path. 

Why O why you were so busy rearing me softly like a flower and kept  preserving all your joys for me to experience?

Perhaps that is why you bore the brunt of leaving the world so young , at just 42 years of age. It seems like  you took it on you so that I remain safe and march ahead in understanding the destined legacy of A Soul journey on your behalf too. You  imparted your very breath to my  being.

“Don’t loose your grandeur and personality to situations, don’t seek pity or get into self pity, face all with Grace and every time you fall, which you would, come back with more force. Retain yourself , re-construct yourself, and empower yourself with faith in your Saadhna even if it has to be an utterance of just the word “Hari Om!” Your words my dearest Pa reflected  life as Purity!

Life had abruptly halted, when the big Hanuman Bhakt ( that’s you)  departed….As I stood in front of you quietly  the waves within me were just reverberating  with your sound… “ stay strong willed, keep igniting your heart, be good, be kind and keep His force within you at all times”… 

Happy Birthday to my life , my loving Pa… You  turn precious 84 years today and on your special day do hear me cheering you with your fav no of K. L Sehgal . .. heard about him only from you…Oh! how I teased you when you sang his no’s…. but today I long to hear you sing….sing all that your heart desires…

You came, you lived, you laughed and shared your holy simplicity like a Sadhu so true to your very name and in the most loving yet empowering ways. Your words are etched in my being..“acknowledge both your joys and sorrows graciously”. 

It’s difficult to know if a piece of you lives in me or a piece of me lives in you…

My memories with you…( pics of me and my dearest Pappaji Sh. Sadhu Ram Bawa🙏)

And let me not forget your favourite poetic lines by Ghalib that you always made us listen….

इब्न-ए-मरियुम हुआ करे कोई

मेरे दुःख की दवा करे कोई

न सुनो गर बुरा कहे कोई

न कहो गर बुरा करे कोई

रोक-लो गर गलत करे कोई

बख़्श दो गर खता करे कोई

कौन है जो नहीं है हाजतमंद

किसकी हाजत रवा करे कोई

जब तवक़्क़ू ही उठ गई ‘ग़ालिब’

क्यों किसी का गिला करे कोई

meaning:

I Know about healing power of  Son of Virgin Mary ( Jesus Christ), 

let me be blessed to find the remedies for my sufferings.

Hear not if evil someone speaks,

Retaliate not if evil someone does

Stop them if they step misguidedly

Forgive them if they act mistakenly

Is there anyone who is not needy or desirous?

but truly who can cater to everyone’s need and desires?

When all expectations are shed, O’ ‘Ghalib’

Why should one complain to (or about) anyone?

When expectations end – complaints end as well.

My search is still on in every corner of my inner house where you hid your emotions … Love you Pa❤️ and Love only heals❤️Gratitude and prayers for you🙏❤️🕉

God Bless you all my OS family🙏May all be blessed with peace and love abundant. 

Hari Om🙏🕉

Siddhika Umesh

pic courtesy: pin interest