Please Don’t Die

Last month I was having a conversation with my best friend about life in general. During our conversation, she said to me, ‘Do you know that sometimes I want to end everything Riya?’ This sentence put me in a shock immediately. Scared out of my wits, I asked her, ‘What do you mean?’ She said, ‘Sometimes I want to kill myself’. Honestly, I was hurt and couldn’t gather myself to say anything to her that moment. Her words kept ringing in my head again and again.

Her story is one of the many near-suicidal stories that I have heard. I have heard of many suicidal cases too. Let’s take my own example here. When I was in the 9th grade, I was so tired and fed up with my life. I had no reason to live and didn’t want to live. I decided to call it quit and tried to consume something deadly. Fortunately, my sister arrived at the right moment and a disaster was thus stopped. But ever since that day I have not tried anything like that ever. The suicidal thoughts do appear after that incident for some years. They are just fleeting thoughts and hence disappear quickly. This new lease of life in me is because I found Swami Ji and my wonderful life guide some years ago. Their teachings, guidance, patience and love have nurtured me into a wiser person and I have come a long way now.

Honestly speaking, facing death needs courage and not everyone has that weird sense of courage. Rather, those who can be detached and accept death as something inevitable and natural can face any obstacle bravely. Detachment can help you achieve anything you want. That does not mean you should take away your blessed life. Instead, you have to make your life worth living.

I don’t know much about depression and I don’t remember if I faced any bouts of depression either. But, I agree that life has its own set of problems. Swami Ji always tells us to do something productive and that really helps me. The mind plays tricks with us mostly and hence we harbour negative thoughts. For instance, I feel very guilty when I spend my day without doing anything meaningful or if I feel I have led the day without a purpose. A sense of purpose is the driving force behind our lives. If you have a purpose in your life and when you are ready to give your time and energy to that purpose (a cause, person or anything that is meaningful to you), then rarely you will get suicidal or negative thoughts.

According to me, I feel more content when I do something meaningful. Whenever I waste my time on social media I feel irritated. I only use WhatsApp now because of my office work and college. These changes happened because of Swami Ji, my life guide and Sadhvi Vrinda Ji who always guide me not to use social media unnecessarily. They always tell me to do something meaningful such as reading, studying or learning a new skill and developing a hobby.

I know that everyone is alone in this world and nobody can live with us 24×7. We have to live with ourselves. Loneliness cannot be an excuse to see life in a negative manner. Having said that, I also need somebody with me all the time even now, but my life guide helps me a lot. With her love and patience, she always keeps me busy in something productive. With that, useless and disturbing thoughts do not bother me much now. More importantly, in today’s era, learning anything (and pursuing a skill or hobby) is becoming easier than ever. With so many resources online, we get quality access to a variety of learning within the click of a mouse.

Quite honestly, I am not sure if my experiences or words will be of much help to you but I write to inspire people around me. In my experience, I have seen the pain in the eyes of many with whom I interact. When they read my blogs, my writings fill them with hope, they say.

Two years ago, I knew certain young kids who were very lovely but they wanted to hurt themselves. This served as a wake-up call for me. With those youngsters, I decided to help them by starting a movement titled “Please don’t die” (I have used the same name for this post). Swami Ji lovingly blessed us in this endeavour and guided us further. He told us to start writing blog posts initially and motivate others. We started writing the blog posts with great fervour. Since we were very young and a bit clueless that time, it was hard to co-ordinate with each other and soon our group was dissolved. But, due to Swamiji’s Grace and for the time He invested on us, this movement is very close to my heart and remains the guiding force through which I help others. This notion is the very basis which helps me write regularly to motivate others. Through my posts, I try to give a positive perspective on life to youngsters and everyone else.

Hence, I urge you all not to destroy the gift of life. Suicide can happen in a moment’s notice. But, have you thought about the consequences? People will mourn for you initially and then they’ll completely forget about you after 2-3 days. But, what will happen to your loved ones? They will have to deal with the pain of your loss every moment for the rest of their lives. They’ll never be able to lead a normal life henceforth. Hence, we ought to be remembered as a beacon of hope for those around us. We should be the living example of a fighter and not an escapist.

With all my heart, I am saying that life has its own plans though I may be incorrect here. But, you can always create your own plans and become a maker of your own destiny. My life guide and Swami Ji always say that we receive what we give to the Universe. So, you decide what you want to give to your life and others. Life is too short, hence live every moment. We are responsible for our actions so have the courage to face consequences too. Be mindful about your actions and take responsibility for them.

Last night I was talking to my best friend and told her that it is unbelievable how people can kill themselves so easily. She told me that ‘depression’ and ‘loneliness’ are often the reasons for the majority of people who take the final call of suicide. In my purview, in olden times, people did not face as many as mental health issues our young crowd do now. You know why? It is because they were very busy dealing with their lives from one moment to another. People back then had to make sure to keep a roof over their head every day. They had tangible and physical problems back then which had little or nothing to do with mental issues. They had to fend for themselves and their families. But, the absence of social media and TV was a blessing as they spent quality time with family or people they cared about. Everyone sat down, showed empathy and shared their problems with each other by being good listeners.

We rarely do that anymore now and often mistakenly label the shy ones (or those who don’t open up easily) as introverts. I know many introvert friends and they aren’t shy or anti-social. Instead, introverts focus their energies internally and have a select few close ones with whom they share their innermost feelings.

So, it is totally up to us on how we have a viewpoint of life. We all have the right to make a decision so please think mindfully before making decisions. Real people need each other but please try to spend some alone time with yourself and cultivate self-love. Self-love once when adopted, reduces the dependency on others and we become increasingly self-motivated too. Nevertheless, you can always reach out to your loved ones for help too. Asking for help is the bravest thing to do. Never hesitate to talk about your problems or seek professional medical help if the situation demands it. On that note, you can contact the wonderful free Hotline on http://os.me too.

As for me, I am always keen on writing more motivational posts and helping you all to the best of my ability. I have not given up on the sacred movement “Please don’t die” and I urge you all to join me too in spirit by helping people around you, by listening them. Let us make this world a better and safe habitable place filled with hope, peace and love. Let us live our beautiful lives fully and happily.

Thank You Sanjana didi for editing my work 🙂

Thank You

Riya Om