Questions That Changed Me

I want to share a childhood incident that changed my way of thinking about the world.

We all have a kind of way of thinking ,or to say a philosophy towards the life and this could keep on changing or modifies with our experiences and incident that took place in our life. I want to share an incident of mine with you .

Let’s catch the story when I was in my 7th or 8th grade.My father and I use to watch shows on discovery channel .Good old days when television was the ultimate pastime. One day a show on “beginning of  universe”( Not able to recall the title of show) was telecasted. So the backdrop of show was that the universe was started with a big bang out of nothing and from that explosion sudden instability took place, from which our present day universe came out into existence.

Suddenly don’t know from where a sudden thought prevailed my mind. What if there is no one as ‘God’ and this all just blind faiths?

what will happen when I die? Will the game just over when I die?

The person who thinking all this, if he died,if he washed out,what is the life then? if the ‘I named as Pawan’ washed out,what is it all about then? 

This questions filled me with fear, and this questions just kept on increasing.

What if mom and dad died? Where they will go? Or they will just go vanish out of reality?if they not ,will they be the same? This questions made me lean more towards science to find out more about this questions.

With the passage of time I learned more about the modern science where I observed that the prime object of research in mainstream was about the external things ( External to that ‘I’). which gets more of complex and feels like of no use,for my questions which are more ‘I’ centric.

Well if to say, I got the answers from our Indian philosophy ( advaita vedanta and madhyamika Buddhism) which upto now my philosophy or darshan ( theory about life)

Today I am still on my quest and My philosophy can change with time,and I am ready for that change.

Thank you for coming so far.